The Thesoddy
By JD Peterson
()
About this ebook
Related to The Thesoddy
Related ebooks
The Man Who Was Thursday Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Lost World: A Professor Challenger Adventure: WordFire Classics Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsI Shall Slay the Dragon! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Face in the Frost Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Djinn City Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Dark Design: The Third Book of the Riverworld Series Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5A Book of Giants Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsELECTION STEAL Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Maker of Gargoyles and Other Stories Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPast Imperative Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Guards of Haven: A Hawk & Fisher Omnibus Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Pirates & Ghosts Short Stories Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Orange Fairy Book Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Sleuth of St. James's Square Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBeyond Demons: Beyond Demons, #1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Phoenix Girls, Book 3: The Heart of the Phoenix Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA History of Giants Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Valley of the Worm: The Weird Works of Robert E. Howard, Vol. 5 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDragon:Ten Tales of Fiery Beasts: Ten Tales Fantasy & Horror Stories, #9 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOn the Razor's Edge Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Enchanted Island of Yew by L. Frank Baum - Delphi Classics (Illustrated) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Shattered Realms Book 1: The Great Army Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFeast of Fools and Other Tales Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCrimson Planet: Known World Series, #1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCrimson Planet Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA BOOK OF GIANTS - 25 stories about giants through the ages: Giants and Giantesses through the ages Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Eden Legacy: Order of Thaddeus, #12 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHeroes and Villains Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Book of Romance Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Humor & Satire For You
The Screwtape Letters Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Love and Other Words Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Killing the Guys Who Killed the Guy Who Killed Lincoln: A Nutty Story About Edwin Booth and Boston Corbett Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Everything I Know About Love: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Man Called Ove: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Will Judge You by Your Bookshelf Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anxious People: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best F*cking Activity Book Ever: Irreverent (and Slightly Vulgar) Activities for Adults Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5101 Fun Personality Quizzes: Who Are You . . . Really?! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Mindful As F*ck: 100 Simple Exercises to Let That Sh*t Go! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Swamp Story: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Don't Panic: Douglas Adams & The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Big Swiss: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Yes Please Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer: A Novella Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Nobody Wants Your Sh*t: The Art of Decluttering Before You Die Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best Joke Book (Period): Hundreds of the Funniest, Silliest, Most Ridiculous Jokes Ever Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Stay Married: The Most Insane Love Story Ever Told Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Solutions and Other Problems Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don't Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/51,001 Facts that Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar...: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Soulmate Equation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for The Thesoddy
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
The Thesoddy - JD Peterson
© copyright 2015, J. D. Peterson. Second Edition
Cover illustration by J.D. Peterson
ISBN: 978-1-6822268-3-4
This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only and may not be resold or given away to other people. Please purchase an additional copy for each recipient if you would like to share this book.
For my wife, the love of my life, and my children, my own dar mofts.
INTRODUCTION TO J.P. HOMER
Far across the galaxy, or perhaps much, much closer, there is a tiny planet, named Orn, that has 17 moons. Few people on Earth know of this planet’s existence, and even fewer believe that there is life there. However, years of careful research (by individuals who prefer to remain anonymous) have uncovered a rich body of literature from this planet. There are Ornian tales, full of heroes and villains that may have had a significant influence on the myths and legends of our own tiny planet. Indeed, some have said that Ornians have visited Earth for thousands of years, exchanging tales with a few of our most famous early historians as well as with more contemporary writers.
The most well known of the Ornian writers, J.P. Homer, lived from 2148-2026 BE (Before Enlightenment, approximately Earth’s 14,500 BC). Although human, J.P. Homer was orphaned at an early age and raised by a breed of silly, green, large-nosed humanoids known as dar mofts. This had a great effect upon his writings and profoundly shaped the philosophy with which he founded the School of Lesser Historians when he was just 12 years old. He named this school George, after the uncle he never had.
The titles of some of J.P. Homer’s early works have been discovered, unfortunately without the stories, so we can only guess at the topics. These include Of Dar Mofts and Men, The Guy Who Killed His Father and Married His Mother, The Ichthyad, The Three Guys (and Another One) with Swords, The Wizard of Orn, Frankenmoft, A Dinghy Named Desire, War and Peas, and Alice in Underwhere, as well as dozens of others with themes or titles that often appear similar to later Earthly writings. Sadly, only a handful of Homer’s stories have been discovered in complete form, usually lining old trunks, wrapped around fish, on the bottoms of bird cages, or buried in vaults of obscure museums.
Thus it was that, in the remnants of an abandoned house in Boston, Massachusetts, I discovered Homer’s The Thesoddy. It had obviously been used to line several exotic bird cages, presenting some additional challenges in the translation of this material. (Unfortunately, the other challenge was that the pages weren’t numbered). Written in 2048 BE, The Thesoddy is undoubtedly the oldest remaining intact Ornian history. It pre-dates both Alatar’s Bortlevin, J.P. Homer’s own Homestead Trilogy, and The Siege of the Great Wall of D’Ung (anonymous). Typical of many of J.P. Homer’s histories, The Thesoddy portrays an epic hero of mostly normal proportions. This tale was apparently written as the history of the Gods’ punishment of Freeny in 959 YOTG (Year Of The Gods, approximately 11,000 BE, give or take 10,000 years), chronicling the strange adventures of a minor noble who goes on a dangerous, absurd, and relatively short journey in the attempt to save his country.
Did this tale, written thousands of years before Earth’s recorded history, influence our own Homer’s Odyssey? I’ll let you decide. At any rate, J.P. Homer’s tales are shining examples of the Lesser Histories of Orn without which we would not have as many Lesser Histories of Orn.
J.D. Peterson
TABLE OF CONTENTS