All These Monsters
By Amy Tintera
4/5
()
About this ebook
Seventeen-year-old Clara is ready to fight back. Fight back against her abusive father, fight back against the only life she’s ever known, and most of all, fight back against scrabs, the earth-dwelling monsters that are currently ravaging the world. So when an opportunity arises for Clara to join an international monster-fighting squad, she jumps at the chance.
When Clara starts training with her teammates, however, she realizes what fighting monsters really means: sore muscles, exhaustion, and worst of all, death. Scrabs are unpredictable, violent, and terrifying. But as Clara gains confidence in her battle skills, she starts to realize scrabs might not be the biggest evil. The true monsters are the ones you least expect.
Amy Tintera
Amy Tintera is the New York Times bestselling author of the Reboot and Ruined series. She earned degrees in journalism and film and worked in Hollywood before becoming an author. She lives in Los Angeles, California, where she can usually be found staring into space, dreaming up ways to make her characters run for their lives. Visit her online at amytintera.com. Twitter: @amytintera Instagram: @amytintera
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Ruined
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Reviews for All These Monsters
10 ratings2 reviews
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Action packed, sometimes a bit unrealistic, but still...kick butt fun. Clara, the narrator, is a believeable young woman & joining a team to help go fight scrabs - there's a lot to like here. Both boys & girls at my high school library enjoyed this... the subplots on father abuse, & angry men were heavy, but did add some depth to Clara's arc. Action packed; realistic; team building inspiration.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book deserves an industrial strength WOW! It's a blend of monsters everywhere, almost as many bad guys, and a bunch of very relatable teens, who are trying to save France and England from the monsters called Scrabs. While Clara's initial reason to join the teams, funded by slightly older Grayson, is to escape the brutality inflicted by her father, it isn't long before she starts buying into the mission and busting her butt in the daily training sessions. Her attraction to Julian, her team leader draws her ever deeper. The action is fierce, bloody and frequent. Team members are killed and there's treachery to overcome in addition to the scores of Scrabs. the ending sets up a sequel perfectly and I'll pre-order it as soon as it's announced.
Book preview
All These Monsters - Amy Tintera
Contents
Title Page
Contents
Copyright
Part One: Run
1
2
3
4
5
Part Two: Team Loser
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
Part Three: Engage in Combat at Your Own Risk
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
Part Four: Keep Calm
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
Part Five: Alive
39
40
41
42
43
Acknowledgments
Sample Chapter from ALL THESE WARRIORS
Buy the Book
Must-Read Sci-Fi and Fantasy Books
Escape to Another World
About the Author
Connect with HMH on Social Media
Copyright © 2020 by Amy Tintera
All rights reserved. For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to trade.permissions@hmhco.com or to Permissions, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 3 Park Avenue, 19th Floor, New York, New York 10016.
hmhbooks.com
Cover illustration © 2020 by Katlego Phatlane
Cover design by Sharismar Rodriguez
The Library of Congress has cataloged the hardcover edition as follows:
Names: Tintera, Amy, author.
Title: All these monsters / by Amy Tintera.
Description: Boston : Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, [2020] |
Summary: Seventeen-year-old Clara runs away from home to join a vigilante monster-fighting squad, only to discover that sometimes the most dangerous monsters are where you least expect them.
Identifiers: LCCN 2019011416 |
Subjects: | CYAC: Monsters—Fiction. | Social media—Fiction. | Dating (Social customs)—Fiction. | Family violence—Fiction. | Racially mixed people—Fiction. | Hispanic Americans—Fiction.
Classification: LCC PZ7.T493 Al 2020 | DDC [Fic]—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019011416
ISBN: 978-0-358-01240-5 hardcover
ISBN: 978-0-358-44768-9 paperback
eISBN 978-0-358-01170-5
v2.0621
Part One
Run
1
The bag slammed into my body, and I hit the mat with a grunt. I flipped over, scrambling to my knees as I tried to find the weapon that just flew out of my hand.
Four claws appeared at my throat. A loud buzzer sounded.
Dead.
I flopped back on the mat, letting out an annoyed huff of air. That was embarrassing. I didn’t even make it thirty seconds that round.
You have one more life,
the voice on the intercom said. Do you want to take a break first?
I got to my feet and turned to where a large, skeptical man named Bubba watched me through the window. I considered telling him to forget about the last life. Surely I’d humiliated myself enough for one day.
I shook my head. No, I’m fine.
Bubba made a face like, wow, she’s an idiot. I was very familiar with this expression.
He pressed a button on his computer, and the practice dummy retracted, squeaking as it zipped along the track mounted to the ceiling.
I put my hands on my hips as I took a deep breath. Four lives, and I died within two minutes each round. I really was an idiot. Bubba was a good judge of character.
You sure you don’t want the body pads, Clara?
Bubba asked over the intercom. You took a pretty big hit just now.
No.
I shook out my shoulders. I don’t need pads.
Pads were for football players. I’d never had padding to protect me from a hit.
The girls usually take the pads,
he said. Especially . . .
He didn’t finish his sentence. He didn’t need to. Especially the girls who didn’t look tough. Especially the girls with their dark brown hair in French braid pigtails and breasts that were made to hold up dresses, not jump around fighting monsters. I really shouldn’t have been doing this in a regular bra. Sorry, boobs.
I don’t need pads,
I said again.
All right. Ready?
Bubba asked over the intercom.
Yeah.
Sword.
Bubba sounded like he’d lost what little faith he had in me.
I grabbed my sword from the mat. It wasn’t actually a sword, just a plastic tube that looked like it belonged on a vacuum cleaner. It had a light on the end that glowed green if I hit a weak spot. I’d only seen it light up once, briefly.
The buzzer sounded, indicating that I had five seconds to prepare. I tightened my grip on my vacuum attachment.
There were four practice dummies hanging from the ceiling, but I’d picked a level one session, so only one jolted away from the wall. It was made out of a large punching bag with plastic arms attached, complete with four-inch claws at the end.
It looked cheap, and stupid. Until it started moving.
The dummy flew at me, metal screeching as it zoomed forward. It was made to approximate a real scrab, and it moved incredibly fast.
Claws sliced through the air. I stumbled backward, the mat squishing beneath my feet.
The dummy’s body swung side to side as it raced along the track, claws outstretched. I ducked beneath its arms and darted around it. I’d clearly surprised it, because it took a second for it to swing around.
I jumped forward, thrusting the sword at its neck. I saw the green light, but only for a second. I hadn’t put enough force behind the weapon for a kill shot.
I barely pulled my hand back in time to miss getting dinged by plastic claws. I spun and ran, ready to swerve and surprise it again—
The bag slammed into my back, sending me crashing into the wall. I hit it so hard that I could have sworn the wall shook. That was going to leave a bruise.
Whoa, are you—
Bubba’s voice cut out as I jumped away from the wall and dashed around the dummy. It swung to face me, all ten claws stretching for my face. I launched at it, throwing my sword into its neck as hard as I could.
The sword glowed bright green. The dummy’s arms dropped. A pleasant dinging sound echoed through the room.
I won. I killed it.
Congrats, darlin’,
Bubba said over the intercom. He didn’t actually sound all that happy for me. You sure can take a hit. Last guy in here cried after round two.
I blew my bangs out of my eyes. I could definitely take a hit. One of my few talents.
And I could kill a dummy pretending to be a scrab one in five times.
I watched as the dummy retracted. If I’d had more money, I might have asked Bubba to give me another full set of lives. I wanted to pound the vacuum attachment into that fake scrab until it was thoroughly dead.
Meet me up front,
Bubba said.
The dummy took its place at the back of the room, and I dropped my sword into its charger on the wall.
I walked out of the simulation room and down the hallway to the front desk. Bubba’s Combat Training and Games wasn’t much to look at, inside or out. It was a squat, windowless building on the side of the highway, the kind of place that might be the last thing you saw before you died. The front room consisted of a few metal chairs, a desk, and walls covered in flyers advertising various services.
European Vacation Special
Buy 5 defense classes for the family and get 2 free!
Weapons, Armor, and Guns
What works, and what doesn’t. Free book with class!
Florida Beach Tips
Learn to spot scrabs in the sand.
The last one was a couple years old. There hadn’t been a scrab sighting in Florida for a long time. They were rarely spotted anywhere in North America these days. It had been three months since the last one, in South Carolina, and the National Guard had shown up almost immediately to whisk it away.
Bubba must never have removed old flyers, because I spotted a bunch of old stuff—the announcement requiring Texas high school students to take combat class instead of gym, a seminar discussing scrab origin theories, even a newspaper article from 2013 about the attack in New Orleans, with a photo of President Obama standing amongst the wreckage. The walls were more history than advertising.
All right, Clara,
Bubba said as he walked through the door and sat down at his desk. He pushed aside a coffee mug. That’ll be twenty.
I dug the bill out of my pocket, flattening it with my hand against the counter before handing it over. Bubba whisked it into a box in the top drawer of the desk. I swallowed as I watched it disappear. With the exception of a few quarters, that was all the money I had. I’d been saving that twenty for months.
The television mounted on the wall above my head was silently playing the news, and Bubba glanced up at it. The words Grayson St. John and Elite Fighting Squad scrolled across the bottom of the screen, beneath a photo of three scrabs standing over a destroyed food cart in Beijing. The scrabs looked a bit different depending on the region—in Asia they were large, typically six or seven feet tall, with enormous bodies covered in spikes. They ran on all fours and mostly used their massive mouths full of fangs to fight. Scrabs in Europe and the UK fought on two legs and made better use of their front claws. North American scrabs were a mix of both, but everyone said ours were smaller and kind of sluggish compared to the rest of the world.
I wondered which version Bubba had modeled his dummy after.
You thinking of joining?
Bubba asked.
Uh, I don’t know.
I was too embarrassed to say yes.
He squinted at me, running a hand over his dark beard. You got any special skills or anything?
No.
I tilted my head. Well, maybe. Is surviving a special skill?
I guess?
Bubba said it skeptically, probably thinking of my four deaths he’d just witnessed. But Bubba didn’t know. Not really.
Yeah, I’ve got that, then. Not dying. That’s what I’m good at.
2
I had to take two buses to get home. The second one was crowded, and I pressed my body into a corner, face-to-face with a poster of Beyoncé selling makeup.
My phone dinged repeatedly in my pocket, but I didn’t pull it out. My news alerts hadn’t stopped since last night. The same headline was everywhere—on the phones around me, rolling across the small television screen mounted to the wall of the bus behind the driver. GRAYSON ST. JOHN ANNOUNCES INTERNATIONAL FIGHT SQUAD.
Grayson St. John would have beaten that fake scrab five out of five times. The people trying out for his fight squads probably could have done a level one course with their eyes closed.
The bus screeched to a stop. I squeezed around a guy staring at his phone and stepped off.
Sweat rolled down my back as I trudged down the sidewalk. It was May, in Dallas, which meant it had already been summer for a month.
Fridays were always lively in my neighborhood, even with the heat. The Brown boys whizzed by on their bikes, a taco truck at the end of the block had several customers, and Mrs. Gonzalez sat on her porch, wearing her leather shoulder holster over her loose blue dress. Her gun sat against her hip, clearly visible to anyone who walked by. She’d moved here from New York City several years ago, after the scrab attack in Midtown Manhattan, and she spent all day, every day, on her porch with her gun. Some of the neighbors reminded her that she’d moved here because there had never been a scrab attack in Dallas. She’d showed them the scar on her leg—twenty-four stitches—where a scrab had swiped its claws across her flesh. We all left her alone.
A few girls I went to school with were gathered around a car in the street, one of them on the ground, pulling a flat tire off the wheel. The girl sipping a large fountain drink, Adriana, caught me watching them and smiled, lifting her hand in a wave.
Hey, Clara!
Her nails were so bright pink that I could see the color from across the street. Adriana’s hair and makeup were always perfect—she’d been the one to teach me how to put on eyeliner.
I waved back and walked a little faster.
All the eleventh-grade girls in my neighborhood were friends, except for me. I’d hung out with them until middle school, when it had become clear that they were the smart girls, the girls who would get scholarships and spend years voluntarily going to school after the required portion. It would be a miracle if I even finished high school. I just made them uncomfortable, so I came up with excuses not to hang out with them until they stopped asking.
I turned the corner and headed for the first house on the left. It was small, one-story, white, with bars on the windows that were ostensibly for our protection. The path to the front door was covered in weeds. The lawn always went to hell when Dad was gone.
Inside, the television was on, the local news playing to our empty faded blue couch. Paintings hung at strange spots on the walls, like someone had slapped them wherever or had a very odd design sense. In reality, they covered bad patch jobs or holes that had never been fixed. The most recent addition was a brightly colored painting of Texas that hung crooked at my eye level.
I found Mom in the kitchen, frantically stirring something in a bowl, flour dusting her black T-shirt. Mom did everything frantically, like someone was chasing her while she was mixing. I didn’t know if it was an acquired behavior or if she’d always been that way. I’d have put money on the former.
She noticed me standing at the entrance to the kitchen. A crease appeared between her eyebrows. I was a constant source of worry, or disappointment, or concern. Never quite figured out which.
What are you making?
I asked.
Your school called,
she replied.
My phone dinged in my pocket. In the other pocket was a summer school schedule confirming what we all already knew—I was an idiot. I swallowed as I pulled the paper out.
Two classes, mija?
Mom said, stirring so hard batter splattered across her shirt. "You failed two classes?"
I could never figure out what the physics teacher was talking about. It never made any sense to me. Even after lots of studying,
I added, which was a total lie. I never studied. How did you study something that made absolutely no sense? Was I supposed to stare at the book and hope it all miraculously clicked one day?
And English?
Mom asked. How do you fail English? You like to read.
Not the kinds of books they made us read in class. I shrugged.
She stopped stirring and let out a sigh so heavy the neighbors probably heard it. You were supposed to get a job this summer.
I know.
You were supposed to help me.
She gestured with both arms to nothing in particular. I was supposed to get a job to help her pay the bills so she wouldn’t break down and call Dad again. It was our deal.
Maybe I should just get a GED,
I said.
No. Absolutely not.
I’m not going to college anyway. What does it matter?
You are not dropping out of high school.
Then I’ll get a job on nights and weekends. You worked in high school.
She gave me a look that clearly said, You’re not me. I wasn’t her. I’d never wanted to be, in most ways.
The front door opened, and my older brother stepped inside. Laurence had an expression that clearly said he wished he’d stayed gone longer. It was his usual expression.
I’m flunking out of high school,
I said.
Oh.
There was no surprise in his tone.
You are not flunking out. You’re going to summer school,
Mom said.
Was physics suddenly going to make sense in summer school? I was going to fail, again, and we’d have further confirmation of my stupidity. It had been well established since first grade, when the teacher sent a note home to my parents saying I was unfocused and kept hitting the other kids when I got frustrated. I was nothing if not consistent.
But no one ever asked why I was unfocused, or why I had so many absences, or why hitting the other kids seemed like a good idea. So I fell further behind, and I never found a way to catch up. My teachers got used to disappointment. We all did.
Just don’t call Dad,
I said. We can figure this out.
I looked at Laurence, hoping for help, for a sudden reveal that he’d found a new job after getting fired from the last one.
Laurence seemed uncomfortable, like he always did when anyone expected something of him. He was happiest slipping through life invisible, which should have been difficult, at six feet tall with the build of a former football player. But he managed it most of the time. He could move like a ballerina on a spy mission whenever he detected a potentially awkward situation.
My buddy has a line on a job,
he finally said. I didn’t try to hide my surprise. Laurence so rarely came through with the good news I hoped for.
It’s in Oklahoma,
he finished.
Right. There was the Laurence I knew. Perpetually disappointing.
You’re moving to Oklahoma?
Mom abandoned her mixing and gaped at my brother.
It’s a good job,
he said apologetically. His gaze met mine, and he quickly looked away.
If I were being reasonable, I’d say I couldn’t blame Laurence for wanting to leave. He was twenty years old; he was supposed to move out on his own, not hang around to help support his mom and little sister. Objectively, he was allowed to have his own life.
In reality, I resented him. I wanted to ask him to stick it out for one more year, because surely—surely—I could figure out a way to escape when I was eighteen.
But I said nothing. I’d never been able to ask Laurence for anything. My brother and I barely spoke at all.
When?
Mom asked.
Next week,
Laurence said.
Mom nodded. Call your father and tell him.
She paused. And let me speak to him.
My heart sank.
I retreated to my bedroom and didn’t listen to Laurence’s and Mom’s conversations with Dad. I didn’t need to. I’d heard it a dozen times. Mom always kicked Dad out, and she always asked him to come back.
This was my fault, anyway. It was my fault for thinking this time would be different just because Dad put my head through a wall. If he’d put only a tiny bit more muscle behind it, he could have killed me. Mom had lost it, screaming at him to get out with such ferocity I was surprised she didn’t damage her vocal cords. The world was still tilted as I listened to her throw his clothes out the window, and Dad was gone before I’d fully regained consciousness. But the horror of that incident had faded, like it always did. It was naïve to think otherwise.
And it was my fault for not being able to pass classes that, honestly, weren’t even that hard. My school was regularly ranked at the bottom of Dallas public high schools. Failing at my high school was a truly embarrassing feat.
My phone dinged again, and I finally pulled it out. The top news alert was in all caps. GRAYSON ST. JOHN POSTS RECRUITMENT VIDEO.
I clicked on it.
Grayson sat in front of a white background. He was a blond man in his early twenties, and handsome in a way that was almost unappealing. He was so good-looking that he’d circled right back around to ugly.
His blue eyes sparkled as he smiled at the camera. He was well lit. Grayson St. John was no stranger to the camera. I’d heard of the dude for the first time two days ago, and I’d already figured that one out.
Hello, friends,
he said. "I’m Grayson St. John. You’ve probably heard of my father, the former CEO of St. John Technologies, Gregor St. John. Our company provides weapons to soldiers fighting scrabs in the US.
"I’ll get right to the point. I’m going to go kill some scrabs. My father died in Prague trying to fight these things, and I’m not going to let his death be in vain. He wanted Congress to act, to send any kind of help, but they’ve just voted—again—to stay out of the fight overseas. Parts of Europe and Asia are under constant siege, and I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of sitting here while people die. Our government has closed its borders, and our president has repeatedly said that America must come first. Well, I say screw that, and I know many of you agree with me.
"We’re forming fight squads. Training and weapons will be provided. You don’t need a military or police background, just a desire to help, though if you’re one of the young people who received combat training in school, we’d love to have you. We have cutting-edge technology that helps us track scrabs, and we’ll be partnering with local law enforcement or military wherever we are. Most fighting will be hand-to-hand, so please have some skill in that area.
"We’ll cover all your expenses, and you’ll get stipends that increase every week you spend with us. And because they said I have to set a minimum age, you have to be sixteen.
"We do value your safety, so we’re holding tryouts to make sure you’re equipped to fight. If you live in America, tryouts will only be held in Los Angeles and Atlanta, but we’ve chartered buses from several major cities to help you get there. Everyone else, there’s a list of cities around the world where our trainers will be holding tryouts. If you pass, you will be assigned to a team, and we’ll pay for your transportation to Europe or Asia.
Call the number on our website, and we’ll get you sorted. We won’t be paying for any return airfare if you change your mind, so please be sure before you hop on that plane.
He leaned closer to the camera. More information at the link. Please contact us even if you don’t have a passport. We’re working it out. I hope you’ll join me, friends. We can be better than our government.
The video ended, and I lowered my phone. I understood suddenly the kinds of people who were going to show up in Atlanta and Los Angeles—a few thrill seekers, sure, but mostly do-gooder types. Humanitarians and charity workers and the sort of people who went to foreign countries to build schools for orphans.
Not me, basically. People probably didn’t join just because they were flunking out of high school and they were scared of their father. Those sorts of people simply ran away from home. I saw them living on streets, popping into the church a few blocks over for a free meal and a shower. Some of them looked like they were doing fine. Some of them didn’t.
I knew my place. It was here, trying to make ends meet with my mom, or it was with the street kids, or it was in one of the group homes a few of my grade school friends were always cycling through. It wasn’t in Europe, fighting monsters because I had a burning urge to save people. The only person I wanted to save was myself.
Not to mention, just setting foot in Europe was a terrifying prospect, much less going there specifically to fight scrabs. You couldn’t even tell when they were approaching, because they dug elaborate tunnels underneath the ground for travel. They’d spring up in heavily populated areas, like they were hoping to inflict as much damage as possible. And they did.
Scientists were still unsure about their intelligence levels, but they were pretty sure that all scrabs had the same goal: destroy. Human, animal, plant, building—it didn’t matter to a scrab. If it was in their way, they demolished (or ate) it. It was like they were trying to clear the Earth of every obstacle until they were the only thing left.
And I didn’t want to spend every waking second worrying about the ground beneath my feet.
A knock sounded on my door, and Mom pushed it open. I knew what she was going to say before she opened her mouth. Her face was determined, but a little abashed.
I spoke to your father,
she said.
My stomach dropped to my feet. OK.
He’s really sorry.
OK.
Mom pressed her lips together like she did when she was trying not to cry. Clara, please don’t be like that.
Like what?
It’s been hard around here without your father. I can’t . . .
She gulped. And now you’re flunking out of high school and Laurence is leaving. I can’t do this by myself.
She couldn’t. Mom wasn’t able support us, not on a cafeteria worker’s salary. And she’d never been good at being alone. It was the mortgage, or a busted pipe, or a broken-down car, or just loneliness, but it always ended the same—asking Dad to come back.
Please, try to act happy that he’s home,
Mom said.
I plastered a huge fake smile on my face. How’s this?
Please try, Clara. He’s sorry.
He was always sorry. There were holes all over the house that he’d been sorry about later. Sorry I kicked a hole in the cabinet while we were fighting. Sorry I threw the doorstop through the window after I had a bad day at work. Sorry I put Clara’s head through the wall.
Mom was looking at me like she was expecting an answer. Like I was still a ten-year-old girl who would tearfully agree with her—Dad was sorry, and things would get better.
Sure, Mom,
I said dryly.
He’ll apologize to you. He promised.
I can’t wait. I’ll treasure every moment.
Mom didn’t know how to deal with sarcasm, so she just pretended she hadn’t heard it. There will be plenty of cake,
she said, and left.
3
Dad would be home at six.
I trudged out of my bedroom at 5:58. It would be worse if I ignored him.
The painting of Texas had been set straight. I hated it, and I wasn’t sure if it was because it covered the hole made by my head or simply because it was Texas. I despised this state, even though I’d never visited the forty-nine others. The only place I’d ever been was Guanajuato, Mexico, to visit Mom’s family. Tía Julia paid for plane tickets for just Mom and me two years ago, and then tried to convince Mom to stay once we arrived. I’d been in favor of it. I loved the city, with its brightly colored buildings and streets so narrow you couldn’t drive cars most places. I could step out of the house and get lost in the winding roads.
No one walked in Dallas. I could walk to the bus, which would take me through miles of suburbs and into the city, and I still wouldn’t have seen most of the Dallas–Fort Worth area. It was too big. All of Texas was too big. It made it too hard to escape.
Mom was in the kitchen again, stir-frying like her life depended on it. Laurence brushed past me and raised his eyebrows as he looked at the meat and vegetables over Mom’s shoulder.
Is Dad going to like that?
he asked.
I’m using the sweet sauce he likes.
Still, worry crossed her face. It was risky, trying a new recipe. Dad enjoyed barbeque and burgers and fried Americanized Chinese food.
Mom took me to a ramen restaurant once, for lunch, just the two of us. Let’s not tell your father, she’d whispered in my ear as we left, because Dad was the sort of man to get angry about noodles.
The television was on, the news blaring, and Laurence walked into the living room and flopped onto the couch. My eyes drifted to the screen.
We have reports that three thousand people have already signed up to join Grayson St. John’s team,
the male anchor said.
He had two guests on the program with him, and the blond woman shook her head.
Who are these people?
she asked the anchor.
From what we’ve heard, they’re mostly young people, and they’re from all over the world.
It’s been suggested that some of them were rejected from the military in their countries,
the blond woman said.
That’s just speculation at this point,
the anchor said. And some are too young to even join the military, since the minimum age for these teams is only sixteen. But St. John has made it clear that the training will be rigorous, and they won’t accept people who aren’t fit to fight.
I swallowed. One in five. Was that fit to fight?
I looked away from the television and caught Laurence staring at me. The thing about quiet people was, they were always watching. And listening. And noticing things I’d rather they didn’t notice.
Those idiots are going to get themselves killed,
Mom grumbled.
I think it’s brave,
Laurence said quietly, still watching me.
Outside, a car door shut.
Mom frantically wagged her hand. Turn that off, turn that off.
Laurence grabbed the remote, and the television screen went black. I pressed both arms to my chest, my left hand tightly clasping my opposite wrist. It was all I could ever think to do to protect myself.
There wouldn’t be any danger immediately—Dad was always on good behavior at first—but my body didn’t know that. It had been trained to tense up at the mere mention of Dad.
The door opened, and he stepped into the house. Dad was well over six feet tall, with shoulders so wide he sometimes had to turn sideways to go through doors. He’d been good-looking in his youth. Now he always looked like someone had just spat in his tea.
Dad’s eyes skipped over me, standing in the middle of the living room, to Laurence, perched awkwardly on the edge of the couch. I wondered what it was like to live in Dad’s world, where everyone shifted things to your liking. At work, did he walk into rooms and wonder why it wasn’t quiet, neat, and full of nervous energy?
Mom’s face lit up as she stepped out of the kitchen to kiss Dad on the cheek.
Why anyone would get excited to see Dad was beyond me, but I guessed Mom had found something to like about him. They were opposites in appearance (Dad: white, blond, built like a linebacker; Mom: Latina, olive skin, brown hair, short and thin) but alike in other ways (love of football, hatred of crowds, an impressive ability to completely ignore reality).
I, thankfully, took after Mom, except taller and with more curves. I had serious curves, the kind everyone liked to comment on. Those are birthing hips, mija, Tía Julia said. That is an ASS, a random guy at 7-Eleven said. That shirt makes you look like a whore, Dad said.
My boobs looked great in that shirt. I wore it several more times, until it mysteriously vanished one day.
Laurence,
Dad said, clapping him on the shoulder. Laurence clearly wanted to disappear. You think about what I said?
Laurence nodded.
And? Dallas is a lot bigger than Tulsa. You can’t find a job here?
Laurence shook his head.
What’s there to do in Oklahoma anyway?
Laurence shrugged.
It’s just a construction job,
Dad said. It’ll be over in a few months. What are you going to do then?
It took my brother a moment to answer, and when he did, it was with a sigh, like being forced to actually say something was tiresome. I guess I’ll find a different job. Or move somewhere else.
A look crossed Dad’s face, like he was both surprised and dismayed. I don’t know where you think you’ll go,
he muttered.
I realized suddenly why Dad was trying to convince Laurence to stay. He wasn’t going to miss him; Laurence could barely muster up the energy to be marginally polite to Dad. There was no love lost there.
Dad was scared that his son would be better than him. Dad had never been anywhere. He grew up a few blocks from where we lived now. He visited Austin once with Mom and declared it terrible.
He was a plumber, a job that only required travel within the Dallas–Fort Worth area.
Mom had him beat; she was