Super Virility: How to Be the Man Every Woman Wants

Copyright © 2004 by Douglas Lee Schooler, Ph. D..

All rights reserved. The information presented in this book is intended for educational purposes only. The author and publisher urge you to consult with a qualified physician or other health care professional before implementing any of the ideas presented. The author and publisher cannot be responsible for any negative consequences arising as a result of using any of the suggestions, nutraceuticals or exercises described in this book.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

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Contents

Acknowledgments

Preface

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Suggested Reading

Notes

To the memory of

my mother and father,

Martha and Seymour,

whose unconditional love

made it all possible

To my wife Inneta

To my son Dan

Acknowledgments

My deepest thanks to all those who offered information, encouragement and help along the way: First and foremost, to my wife inneta, who has always believed in me and this book, and whose help has touched every aspect of Super Virility. Many thanks to Dan Schooler for his invaluable help in cover design. To Bill Higham, M. S., for his help in editing and his continual encouragement and ideas, and to Robert Krakow for his thoughtful comments. Thanks to Dr. Marc Sencer, who never let me off the hook; to Dr. Stu Langenthal, Dr. Arthur Trotzky and Ted Haiman, for their support always and to Dr. Albert Robbins, without whose inspiration I may have never started writing this work. Thanks to Karen Zeh for her thoughtful ideas on the title. Much appreciation goes to Barry Nevins, Keith Nevins, Dr. Bob Berger, and Jeff Rose for their generous sharing of nutraceutical research over the years. To Susan Lee, MSW, who taught me the right way to do sex therapy. To all my patients, past and present, thanks for all you’ve taught me and your patience with me. And to Robert Carson, who put me on the path a long time ago.

Preface

You never know when you’re going to come across an idea that will change your life. As a young undergraduate psychology student in the mid-1960s, i was casually reading a book by a world-renowned psychoanalyst when i was struck by something the author said, almost in passing and quite unrelated to the major themes of the book. He recounted a conversation he had with another prominent analyst and told of one of his major life disappointments. He said that he had come to regret not having enough sex when he was younger. I was shocked! Here, after all, was a world-famous therapist, a man whose professional wisdom focused on the importance of sexual impulses, confessing to a mistake of not having enough sex! The rest of the book seemed to shrink in importance and all i was left with was that comment of the esteemed analyst. I felt sorry for him. He felt like he missed his chance and now he was too old. But i was also grateful that this renowned clinician had told me his secret. He had validated something I knew to be true from my personal experience but which was only marginally supported by America’s sexually neurotic culture, namely that sex is good, sex is important, and sex is worth doing and worth doing well. This message—the goodness and importance of sex—has shaped the core values and ideas of my personal and professional life ever since, in spite of the negative messages

I got about sex while growing up in our conflicted and puritanical American culture.

Now, some forty years later, that same message forms the foundation of this book. If sex is indeed good and important then it is worth being good at. There are lots of books about sexual technique, sexual positions, G-Spots, foreplay, and so on. But there is very little information for men on mastering their own sexual equipment. This book tries to fill that gap by presenting a complete mind-body program of sexual training that will lead to self-mastery, super virility and, ultimately, sexual ecstasy for a man and his partner.

Super Virility and sexual ecstasy through self-mastery

The basic premise of this book is that for you to move beyond ordinary potency and virility into the realm of super virility you must master the fundamentals of your own sexual functioning. Occasional experiences of ecstasy without self-mastery can indeed happen, but they happen by accident and cannot be repeated at will, day in and day out. Only through a complete and applied understanding of your sexual nature is ecstasy possible on a continual basis. A major goal, therefore, of Super Virility is to teach you the operating rules of your own body and the Super Virility skills that arise out of such knowledge.

The second major premise of this book is that once a man is skilled in going beyond ordinary virility he will be able to not only achieve sexual ecstasy for himself but will want to act in ways that will bring ecstasy to his partner as well. It’s kind of like dancing. When a man knows the steps his woman flows along with him. No words need to be said, no instruction required. it just happens. This does not mean that you are totally responsible for your lover’s pleasure. Ultimately, that is up to her. if she is having some sexual difficulty because of illness, anxiety, hormonal irregularity, or any other reason, it is her responsibility to work on that and bring herself to a level of healthy functioning that will allow her to experience the highest levels of pleasure. And to do so, she may find herself using many of the same techniques and ideas presented in this book. Relaxation, nutrition, and exercise work for women too! But when your partner is sexually healthy in mind, body and spirit, then your sexual power and self-mastery will help her to reach intensities of pleasure she may have only dreamed about.

The source of sexual ecstasy is within you

For millennia humans have searched for the perfect aphrodisiac—an elixir or pill that would drive one or both partners wild with desire and lead to unimagined sexual thrills. When i was a teenager the rumor was that all one had to do was get hold of some Spanish Fly, give it to your girlfriend and she’d become a sexual maniac in bed. Of course no one knew what Spanish Fly was or where you could get it. But the idea of a pill that could dramatically increase sexual pleasure in such a powerful way was tantalizing. Several decades later, we know that one of the appeals of recreational drugs is their ability to heighten sexual drive and pleasure. But at what cost? Cocaine, Ecstasy, Qualuudes, GHB, Roofenall, and even alcohol all have sexually stimulating properties. But they all have potentially serious adverse consequences as well. There is a better way—one that’s safe, reliable, and effective over the course of a lifetime. And it’s totally legal. In today’s world it is hard to find something that’s good, good for you and legal at the same time. The Super Virility program presented in this book is a real treat. Sure it’s not as easy as just popping a pill, but the results are well worth the effort. Welcome to the world of Super Virility.

The most important concept in the Super Virility program is that your sexual pleasure depends almost entirely on you. It’s your body, your mind, and ultimately your pleasure. You must learn to cultivate and control that pleasure much like any mind-body skill such as, for example, you could find in the world of sports. The training produces the performance. Preparation pays off, and lack of preparation shows itself in a poor, unpredictable showing. It’s just that simple.

The Super Virility training program presented in this book will help you elevate your sexual skill and behavior to a level that will reliably produce ecstasy for a lifetime.

PART I

SUPER VIRILITY SEXUAL METHODS

Chapter 1

HOW IS YOUR SEX LIFE?

How would you rate your sex life? Are you having enough sex, enough great sex?

Before plunging into the Super Virility program, let’s take time for you to examine your sex life as it exists now. By sex I am referring specifically to sexual intercourse with a female.

The question of QUANTITY

The question of whether or not you are having enough sex is difficult to answer because there is no commonly agreed-upon standard of just how much sex one should have. women Depending on one’s religious, cultural, and family teachings, and biology and personal philosophy of life, the ideal sexual frequency will vary dramatically among individuals. Recall Wilt Chamberlain’s boast that he had slept with many thousands of women in his adult life. This averages out to several sexual episodes per day, every day of the year, for many years! Contrast that extreme, if you will, to the opposite end of the spectrum, the religious ascetic, whose vow of celibacy forbids all forms of sex. The range of possibilities is broad, from several times a day to never, and obviously most men fall somewhere between. But just how much sex is enough for you?

The question of QUALITY

Then there is the question of quality. How satisfying are your typical sexual experiences? Do you look forward to sex or regard it as a chore or obligation? is the intensity of pleasure during sex ecstatic from beginning to end or is the orgasm the main reason for doing it?

Perhaps the best way to find out if you are having enough great or ecstatic sex is to simply ask yourself how you feel about the quantity and quality of your typical sexual encounters. If you do feel sexually unfulfilled then you probably are. But even if you feel completely satisfied with the frequency and pleasure of sex in your life you may be missing out on reaching your sexual potential. Because in order to really know if you are satisfied you need to know what the possibilities are. And most men don’t really know their own possibilities or potential for frequent and ecstatic sex. For example, a well-designed research study1 into the sex lives of adult Americans ages 18 to 59 shows that only about 3% of men aged 50-59 are having sex 4 or more times a week. Well, you say, 50-59 is too old for frequent sex but the young guys must be having a lot more. Not according to this research. Only 6% of men 30-39 reported having sex 4 or more times a week and even among young guys 18-24, only 12 % of them said they were doing it 4 or more times per week. Indeed, more than 50% of every male age group, from 18 to 59, report having sex only a few times per month to a few times per year and about 10% are not having sex at all. The research also shows (not surprisingly) that living together or being married raises the frequency of sex, so that 40% of men living with a woman report having sex 2 or 3 times per week and 36% of married men report the same frequency. But more startling is the 43% of married men and the 36% of men living with a woman that report only having sex a few times per month. Is "A few times per month" too infrequent or just about right? What do you say? What would your partner say?

Another well-designed study by Conrad and Milburn2 found a similar degree of sexual unhappiness and lack of fulfillment. While 75% of their respondents said sex was important, less than 25% reported having a satisfying sex life. Remarkably, a whopping one third of men 18 to 29 reported difficulty getting or keeping erections!

The current issue of Newsweek magazine (June 25, 2003) puts the sexual drought in relationships right on the cover. The lead story We’re Not in the Mood examines the apparent lack of sex in modern marriages and tries to find causes: overworked couples with too much responsibility and financial worries plus too many people on sex-destroying anti-depressants.

Isn’t it surprising that, in a society that seems at first glance to be obsessed with sex, so few people are reporting frequent, satisfying and deeply fulfilling sex? While social critics denounce the explosion of sex on TV and the media in general, the research suggests that there is far less actual sexual behavior going on in this country. People seem to be watching sex more and doing it less. Why are we turning into a nation of voyeurs? One obvious and reasonable answer to that question is that our national longing to see others having great, passionate sex on TV or the movies is a direct reflection of the lack of sexual passion people feel in their own lives. We want to watch what we don’t have in our lives. Fortunately, vicarious sexual thrill seeking does not have to be the norm. Sexual joy and ecstasy is your birthright. What better time is there to reclaim it than now?

How much sex is optimal for you? You eat, sleep and eliminate every day. You probably work at least five days a week, possibly six or even seven. Why not set a standard of some kind of sex every day? Not sexual intercourse every day, but some form of sexual experience or expression, whether it be self-pleasuring, hugging and kissing, or a stimulating sexual fantasy. Sex every day is a standard far above the national averages reported above, even for self-pleasuring. But in order for a man to keep his sexual energy strong he must cultivate and circulate that energy on a regular basis. Sex every day is a goal that few men will attain, but one that all can aspire to. For young single men in their late teens and twenties daily sex may not seem unreasonable at all. But with age come the responsibilities of career, marriage, and parenting and the aging process itself, all of which can deplete a man’s sexual energy. This is when the principle of sex every day has special value in helping a man to stay on course, with sex one of the special priorities in his life. The Super Virility program detailed in this book will give you the sexual energy, power, and control to achieve your own optimal sexual frequency and maximum sexual quality at whatever stage of life you are in.

What will Super Virility training do for you?

This is not a book on sexual positions, how to seduce a woman, or how and where to touch your lover. This is a book about reaching your sexual potential and becoming sexually self-actualized. This is a book about getting optimal sexual performance and pleasure from your body no matter what your age. That is the essence of Super Virility.

This book will teach you to be a better lover, even a great lover. You will learn how to increase your sexual energy, develop your sexual power and stamina, and achieve exquisite control of your sexual responses, including erection and orgasm/ejaculation. And as your sexual energy, power and control increase, you will begin to experience intense sexual pleasure, heightened self-esteem, improved overall health, and a more satisfying relationship with your lover(s).

If you are a woman, this book will give you advanced knowledge of male sexuality and open up the possibilities of higher-level sexual ecstasy that can be available to you and your lover on a regular basis. It will teach you about the sexual potential of your man, what he needs to know and do to reach his potential, and how you can help him in that process.

If you are a woman who wants to intensify and deepen your sexual relationship and