The Desire Factor: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power

INTRODUCTION

The Spiritual Nature of Material Desire

Desire. It’s a powerful force that triggers a surge of heightened pleasure and purpose, sending life-giving energy rushing through every fiber of our beings. And regardless of whether the object of our desire is a person, a possession, or an idea that we want to make manifest in our lives, the act of wanting something is about far more than its attainment. Desire is a catalyst that can awaken our highest qualities, our greatest human potential, and our full spiritual power.

Like the proverbial carrot dangling from a stick that gives the mule a reason to keep striving toward a destination, the act of acknowledging a desire also leads us on a journey. And this is not only a journey toward simply having but also a journey of becoming. Desire is intended to feed you, to thrill and refresh you, and every desire, big or small, summons life force itself through you. And yet, each of us must make the choice to grant our desires permission to be, and to tend to any resistant or opposing thoughts that contradict them. When we surrender to this process by allowing our desires to blossom—first within the unseen realm of our own heart and mind, and ultimately in full manifestation in the three-dimensional world—they have the potential to guide us to our fullest spiritual expression and our most abundant life. I have had countless experiences of this throughout my life.

In my early twenties, I began what would become a lifelong love affair with high fashion and designer brands. Matching an adorable handbag with the perfect pair of shoes was for me an exalted—even spiritual—experience. I remember the exact day when, after being struck with what seemed to be a superficial attraction to a luxurious handbag, I was led upon a profound journey of becoming. I’d been browsing in a department store in downtown Chicago when I spotted, and instantly fell in love with, an adorable little saddlebag purse made by Coach. Now, in comparison to my salary at the time, the price tag was definitely a stretch—and most reasonable people would never have even considered it. But everything about this purse excited me, so instead of feeling angry about how much it cost, I allowed my senses to drink in every glorious detail. I admired the softness of the leather, the quality of the stitching, its intoxicating scent. I walked out of the boutique that day resolved that I would, in time, become the owner of that purse.

As I continued along my window-shopping spree, envisioning myself carrying my new bag happily from store to store, I reached into my current purse for a cigarette and was stopped in my tracks by a powerful insight: I had been a pack-a-day smoker for years, and while I knew it wasn’t good for me, I had never found enough motivation to quit. I suddenly realized that the version of me who would one day carry that adorable Coach handbag would never dream of using it to hold a smelly pack of cigarettes! In that moment, I saw that I could use my desire to buy that purse as both the leverage and the reward to finally quit smoking, and sure enough, this desire—and the possibility contained within it—gave me all the incentive I needed. My desire for that handbag was not nearly as superficial as it may have seemed. It was an agent that the Divine was using to guide me to my next level of health and vitality.

About fifteen years after this event, I experienced a similar calling. I was on vacation in Venice, Italy, with my mom and dad and my then-boyfriend Frederic, who is now my husband. As I walked through the beautiful cobblestone streets, I felt as if I’d stepped into a fashionista Shangri-La. Designer boutiques lined the streets as far as the eye could see: Chanel, Prada, Gucci, Versace, Dolce & Gabbana… oh my! As I stepped into the fifth or sixth store, my eyes locked on a stunning hand-stitched Fendi handbag, perfect in every way—with the single exception of the price tag, which happened to be three thousand dollars. At that time, nothing about spending three thousand dollars on a handbag would have been a good idea. I had just left my steady, fifteen-year career in corporate America to follow my passion of becoming a life coach, and my fledgling business was barely off the ground. I had to be mindful of every expense. Still, I really, really wanted that purse! To me, it represented elegance, abundance, and beauty—qualities that I very much wanted to include, nourish, and enhance in my experience. Without realizing it, in that moment of nonresisted desire, I set into motion another process of becoming. I told myself that I would return to Venice someday and purchase a purse of my choosing—a marker of and a reward for my success.

As I write these words today, having devoted the past twenty or more years to studying, applying, and teaching others about the powerful universal laws that govern the process of all manifestation, I now understand the full spiritual significance of the flashes of insight I received on each of those days.

Those coveted purses had been symbols that helped me focus my attention and creative energy toward much bigger and more important goals: The Coach bag symbolized my becoming a woman who is healthy, active, self-loving, energetic, and—naturally—a nonsmoker. And that, by the way, is the woman who returned to that very boutique two months later, cigarette-free, and walked out with a Coach purse on her arm. Similarly, the Fendi bag was a symbol of success; when I envisioned myself carrying it, I saw a woman who is confident and accomplished, who has the freedom to spend her money and time in ways that are pleasing to her and that contribute meaningfully to others.

The day I spotted the Coach purse, I was not only a pack-a-day smoker; I was also twenty pounds overweight. Discouraged after a string of bad relationships, I truly did not like myself very much. The day I saw the Fendi bag, my experience of life was one of having a shortage of both time and money. But nine years later, when I returned to Venice with my husband, two children, and my parents (a gift provided to my parents at Christmas), I declared I would purchase whatever purse most excited me regardless of the price. As I spent a wonderful day with Frederic going into every shop (he is such a good sport!), I saw the one. Walking into Dolce & Gabbana, I purchased the perfect symbol of my success. And I did so with the full pride and satisfaction of knowing that I had created a multimillion-dollar coaching business that not only serves others but also rewards me with an abundance of both time and money. My desire for each of these material objects provided the vehicle, the awareness, and the avenue to discover and manifest the next version of myself that the higher part of me was urging me to become.

Purses, for me, ignite the Desire Factor. They light me up, summon energy through me, and give me a glimpse into a new, yet-unrealized reality. This is the divine purpose of desire, whether the desire itself is for something material or something intangible; big or small. Designer bags and shoes may inspire zero interest for the next girl, but it’s not about the items, the destination, or the specifics of any particular manifestation. It’s about the process of being lit up by something and the energy that is summoned through you as a result. The particular objects that you desire—whether they are big or small, tangible or intangible—are of no consequence. The real value lies in discovering that you want something more, better, or different than what you currently have and then allowing this life-giving realization to stir something within you. When you make the decision to use your desires for this expansive and spiritual purpose, you are actively cooperating with the Desire Factor within you.

The word desire, by the way, is defined by Webster’s dictionary as a conscious impulse toward something that promises enjoyment or satisfaction in its attainment. And we experience this on every level of our being. From a purely physiological perspective, whenever we desire something, dopamine is released in our brain, triggering a surge of heightened pleasure, focus, and aliveness. From a spiritual perspective, the act of wanting something, and of aligning ourselves with the image of its fulfillment, is what enables us to see the next greatest version of ourselves that the larger part of us is calling us to become. When we understand desire from the perspective that it is a conscious impulse being transmitted to us from our Divine Self, from the nonphysical part of us, we can truly be fulfilled, expanded, and excited by it.

Desire is the first step in all creation. Without desire, nothing happens, and there can be no motion forward. Without desire, the universe and the planet on which we are all living would not have been created. Without desire, you would not exist. Burning desires come forth as an activity of your Divine Self, stirring you up to realize that it wants to do more for you, with you, and through you. You can be certain that when you want something—provided it’s not hurtful to you or anyone else, and it will bring good into your life—it is your spiritual Divine Self tugging at your heart’s door, trying to get your attention. When you accept the existence of that desire, you must then accept the fulfillment of it. You must decide that you want it and become an active participant in the having of it.

Desire is one way to bring the human and unconscious part of you into alignment with the larger part of you, your Divine Self. Every desire you have really is a divine desire. Every frustration you have in the attainment of the desire happens so that you can integrate your boundless higher self with your time-bound personality. Desiring the partner, the money, the house, the shoes, the car, the vacations… they are ideas arising from the Divine for the purpose of bringing you back home to yourself. Any area of your life where you’re experiencing less than joy and fulfillment is a reflection that your creative potential is still asleep. And in an attempt to awaken you, your higher self gives you a burning desire. The burning desire at its core is a call for completeness, a call to return you home to yourself.

Contrary to what most of us have been socialized to believe, the desires that arise within us are neither good nor bad. A heartfelt desire to become a parent or meet the man or woman of your dreams is not inherently nobler than a desire to travel the world, make an impact in your career in service to others, or purchase a high-end purse. There is so much judgment cast upon people who openly express desire for material things, and this is the very epitome of irony, because—to paraphrase what pop icon Madonna noted all those years ago—we are all material boys and girls, living in a material world. Desire is not an evil agent intended to separate man from God’s grace; it is the avenue by which we come to understand the divinity that we are and to enjoy the full bounty of the abundant universe in which we live.

From spiritual traditions and pop culture alike, most of us have been deeply ingrained with the message that the pursuit of desire is evil and hedonistic, and that spirituality and materialism cannot, and should not, coexist. The Bible cites desire as the reason that Adam and Eve—having been lured by Satan to eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil—fell from God’s grace and were cast out of the Garden of Eden. Hinduism and Buddhism tell us that in order to realize our full spiritual nature, we must renounce all desire for worldly things. And so, whether intentionally or unconsciously, most of us attempt to diminish the strength of our own wanting. How many of us allow doubt and disbelief to suffocate our dreams before we ever give them a chance to bloom? How many try to kill our desires off by rationalizing, defending, and justifying them to others or to ourselves?

The programming that desire is the root of all suffering, or that material things are inherently bad, stems from a belief that we lack the ability to attain those things. We judge desire as bad because we doubt that we deserve to live the good life or have it all. But all of us are divinely designed to have the good life. We are all born to have it all and to experience what we would love in all aspects of our individual lives, connected to the very life that breathes