Not My Father's Son: A Memoir
Written by Alan Cumming
Narrated by Alan Cumming
4.5/5
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About this audiobook
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
“Equal parts memoir, whodunnit, and manual for living . . . a beautifully written, honest look at the forces of blood and bone that make us who we are, and how we make ourselves.” --Neil Gaiman
In his unique and engaging voice, the acclaimed actor of stage and screen shares the emotional story of his complicated relationship with his father and the deeply buried family secrets that shaped his life and career.
A beloved star of stage, television, and film—“one of the most fun people in show business” (Time magazine)—Alan Cumming is a successful artist whose diversity and fearlessness is unparalleled. His success masks a painful childhood growing up under the heavy rule of an emotionally and physically abusive father—a relationship that tormented him long into adulthood.
When television producers in the UK approached him to appear on a popular celebrity genealogy show in 2010, Alan enthusiastically agreed. He hoped the show would solve a family mystery involving his maternal grandfather, a celebrated WWII hero who disappeared in the Far East. But as the truth of his family ancestors revealed itself, Alan learned far more than he bargained for about himself, his past, and his own father.
With ribald humor, wit, and incredible insight, Alan seamlessly moves back and forth in time, integrating stories from his childhood in Scotland and his experiences today as a film, television, and theater star. At times suspenseful, deeply moving, and wickedly funny, Not My Father’s Son will make readers laugh even as it breaks their hearts.
Alan Cumming
Alan Cumming’s many awards for his stage and screen work include the Tony, Olivier, BAFTA, and Emmy. He is the author of two children’s books, a book of photographs and stories, a novel and the #1 New York Times bestselling memoir Not My Father's Son. He is a podcaster (Alan Cumming’s Shelves) and an amateur barman (NYC’s Club Cumming). Find out more at alancumming.com, @alancumming on Twitter, and @alancummingsnaps on Instagram.
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Reviews for Not My Father's Son
810 ratings90 reviews
What our readers think
Readers find this title to be a touching and moving memoir that explores the author's traumatic childhood and his journey to overcome it. The book is praised for its honest and heartfelt storytelling, as well as the author's narration. Readers appreciate the author's ability to show compassion and forgiveness towards those who have hurt him. The book is described as raw, powerful, and ultimately triumphant. It offers hope and inspiration to those who have experienced similar struggles. Overall, readers find this title to be a profound and captivating story of healing and acceptance.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A profound story that will touch the hearts of many, especially those who grew up with a mentally ill, violent and abusive parent. I am so grateful he shared his story.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/54.5 stars rounded up to 5. This is a beautiful, tender memoir written (and read) by Alan Cumming where he shares about his difficult childhood, including abuse he suffered at the hands of his father. He also writes about his beloved mother and brother and his experience on a discovery for the truth about his maternal grandfather's demise on the BBC's version of "Who Do You Think You Are".
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Who knew that Alan Cummings was such a warm and gifted writer of prose? While recounting the horrors of his childhood he never veers into self pity and his introspection serves as a guide for all those trying to figure out out to heal from intimate abusers. His quest to find out the truth about a mysterious maternal grandfather is cleverly interwoven into his story to help form "history".
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I have always loved Alan Cumming. He exudes joy and love. After reading this memoir, I love him even more. His utter honesty about his tortured childhood is devastating. Thank goodness he had his beautiful mother and sweet Granny to cushion his tender heart from the cruel blows, both physical and emotional, from his clearly unbalanced father. This book is a journey well worth taking.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I started listening and couldn’t put it down. Great story. Thanks Steven
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5What well written book. Having been born in Glasgow, Allan was not alone with being abused by a parent. It was a common offense in the 70's to hear I got battered or thumped last night by my Ma or Da. Thank goodness Scotlands child rearing techniques have improved. But Im sure there are still many children growing up in an abusive house.
Thanks Allan for sharing your story. It was like you were sitting in my livingroom telling me about your life. So happy your Mum, Tom and yourself survived and are enjoying your lives. Good on you for forgiving your Dad. He no longer has power over you. All the very best. - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5For anyone who spent their childhood on eggshells. Alan brings you along his healing journey in a really captivating way.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A great memoir, blend with autobiography. Through the flashbacks, and the present!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Well told
Just one little thing , there seems to be some parts missing…. Perhaps an error with the upload? - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Very raw & vulnerability!! Didn’t want to stop listening. Loved hearing the author read it. Well put t/g.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5It was completely focused on his father (obviously, that's the title after all) but I was expecting something more from Cumming. The chonological jumps back and forth did not help me engage with the narrative either. Not my kind of memoir I guess.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5One of the best books I’ve read in a long time. Aided by the perfect narration of its witty, charming author, Alan Cumming, it explores his traumatic childhood and his truly shocking mid-life surprises about his family without ever slipping into the kind of manipulative, overly sentimental stuff you find in some celebrity memoirs. Cumming’s memoir reads as honestly heartbreaking , self-deprecating, occasionally (literally)laugh out funny, and ultimately celebratory in the best way. Cannot recommend highly enough.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A very strong story that I hope will leave others also with the idea that it is possible that one day you will also have the chance to find peace of mind and acceptance.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5touching...
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This book made me love Alan Cumming even more than I already did. It's a beautifully-written memoir, rich with emotion. Not a sordid tell-all, but an exploration of family secrets, love, and forgiveness, this is the kind of memoir that I would like to see more of.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Great book, I both laughed aloud and cried, but one I could not put down. Loved that it was read by Mr. Cumming, even as painful as that must have been.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I hate most celebrity memoirs and biographies. This one, however, was neither self-pitying nor self-aggrandizing nor name dropping nor a standard telling of a well-trad path from obscurity and pain to celebrity and Glory. Rather this was a deeply felt story about a man coming to terms with his past, dealing with trauma, and all done with extraordinary kindness and compassion. I was most impressed with the degree of compassion he was able to show to everyone involved including those who most manifestly did not deserve it.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Touching honest articulated
Thanks for making me feel less alone with my own story. - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5What an incredible insight into Mr. Cumming's life and how he came to be who he is. Beautifully told and heartbreaking - but still full of hope. I was engrossed and thankful that he shared his stories.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Inspiring how people survive and even flourish despite all the cruelty and abuse. This story will make a difference. We’ll done Sir!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This is not the usual celebrity memoir. Cumming describes his traumatic experience with an abusive father growing up in Scotland. The reality television show Who Do You Think You Are helped uncover details of his maternal grandfather who died in mysterious circumstances in Malaysia. The story ranges from chilling to heart-breaking with happy moments too, all told with Cumming's optimistic upbeat attitude without any wallowing in what could have been a tale of woe. His personality, obviously inherited from his mother, known by her descriptive full maiden name of Mary Darling, shines through. It took a lot of courage to go through an emotional disclosure on live television, and even more to return to the heartbreaking childhood details in print. This is an engaging memoir that supports my opinion of Cumming's charming personality.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5sad, beautiful, poignant, and ultimately triumphant . alan is such a great storyteller. loved how the two parts of his story weaved together. i really hope alan had found peace and thank him for sharing his story
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Really good audiobook read by author actor Alan Cumming. Alan's reading made the book even more enjoyable and deeply moving. This is a raw and honest look at his painful childhood. Grappling with his relationship with his abusive father and the mystery surrounding his maternal grandfather's death, Alan has incredible strength of character—such bravery and kindness, and an immense capacity for forgiveness. I can't help but like and admire Alan Cumming. I highly recommend this memoir.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Moving. Thank you so much, Alan, for sharing your story.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Great to hear it from the horse's mouth, so to speak! Seriously though, Alan reads this really well and his story is touching and funny in all the best ways.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A brave journey. Written with eloquence and intelligence. I loved it
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Fantastic. We are a product of our environment and Alan has excelled in spite of it. bravo
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dark memories are always painfull, and the way A.Cumming writes (and reads it) is absolutely captivating and saddening. I am so sorry he had to go through this ordeal as a child AND as an adult. For the writing part, A. Cumming has such a way with words, he can vividly describe his emotions, the feel of the moment.. I loved this book.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Painful, poignant, powerful. Hard to fathom the Scottish Sprite should have known such pain, or that his gifted writing and telling of his life's tale could be so healing. I began expecting witty froth. I ended learning a deeper truth about my own abuse.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5It was a good listen and quite a sad/uplifting story no matter one's background.