If you've ever thought to yourself: I wonder what it would be like to read a story with a POV of a bear! - Have I got the book for you!!
[image]
There If you've ever thought to yourself: I wonder what it would be like to read a story with a POV of a bear! - Have I got the book for you!!
[image]
There are pages and pages of the bear's thoughts. Oh, and he's a killer bear. Even better. Nobody wants to read pages and pages of a sweet and cuddly bear's thoughts. That would be boring!
[image] Bear thoughts are strangely existential...
So, killer bear is out to eat people. That's his thing. He wants to eat our h & H, Angie and Dare. Frankly, I want him to eat the author for naming her character Dare.
[image] I couldn't resist, she triple-dog-Dared me!
Angie and Dare are both mountain guides in Montana and have competing businesses. Dare's is winning because who would book a mountain trip with someone named Angie over someone named Dare?
A trip with Angie: [image]
A trip with Dare: [image]
Why yes, there is a bear included in both trips, but one has a bit more pizzazz than the other. Sure, you end up dead - eaten by a bear - in both scenarios, but you'll have more FUN before being eaten with Dare's group.
[image] Bear don't even care. It's a flesh wound. He'll walk it off while he's digesting you.
This book bored the crap out of me. I hate camping and the outdoors has too many bugs for me, so I should have known...The only good part was the bear killings. I would have been a fan of the bear except that he was gross and smelly. In my eyes, there is only one kind of bear worthy of my love and devotion.
Well, my dearies, if this book doesn't trigger you, I don't know what will. We have everything you need to be driven into a homicidal rage:
Abused chilWell, my dearies, if this book doesn't trigger you, I don't know what will. We have everything you need to be driven into a homicidal rage:
Abused children
[image] I have an idea: maybe let's try NOT torturing children in books.
Widower who constantly compares the heroine to his dead wife
[image] With that haircut? I'd scream too!
Virgin super-hero
[image] NOT an oxymoron. Somehow, they go hand-in-hand.
Backstories that are complicated and half-explained, but must have come from a completely different series because this is book number ONE!
[image] In this case, I don't care. That's freaking adorable!
So predictable that if you just read the blurb and think of what the story is - you are 100% correct.
[image] Wait, what? I didn't predict the creepy doll. *shudder*
Okay, so only a couple of those are actual triggers for most people. And, there is no cheating at least. But, for a book to succeed at such a level of blandness, along with touchy subjects, it is special. Almost as special as our heroine, who can apparently do anything.
I read this to check a box in my 2017 MacHalo Reading Challenge....more
I read this as part of a reading challenge. I've never seen the movie either, and now that I've read it, I don't think I want to.
[image] This is what iI read this as part of a reading challenge. I've never seen the movie either, and now that I've read it, I don't think I want to.
[image] This is what it would take to make me watch a movie that includes this as a scene.
It's really hard to review this book because it has been studied, picked apart, and written about for years and years. So, I'm going to approach it as I would any book: what an average American shlub thinks about it. No scholarly dissertation, no thesis, no talking about the symbolism. Just how it made me feel.
The biggest thing about this book is the fact that it is harder than hell to read. It's like decoding hieroglyphics. The language is some sort of made-up slang that will annoy the crap out of you when you start the book. And, this slang language is ridiculous. Many of the words are silly sounding and rhyming. (It is supposed to be an off-shoot of Cockney Rhyming Slang). You may just want to shoot yourself in the head after a few pages.
[image]
It's like Dr. Seuss broke bad or something. Seriously annoying.
The next big thing is the senseless, brutal violence in this story. There is killing, raping, and torture. It's horrible stuff. In this case, the stupid language actually helps because the words used for everything takes you a step-back from the violence.
The torture of our narrator was really the most important part of the story. Everything the book is saying comes down to whether the torture was a good thing or bad thing. There are complex issues that are explored, like crime & punishment, free will vs. determinism, parental and governmental responsibility, etc... This is why so much has been written about a book that calls eggs "eggiwegs". It had better be deep if one is willing to slosh through that much annoyingness. It's like running through a Lego gauntlet. There had better be something good at the end.
The version I read of this book included an extra chapter that was originally edited out of the American version of it. When I noted where it would have cut-off, I actually thought it would have been a much better story if it ended there. I guess that means the editor understood us Americans. But, in the forward that was written by the author, he whines and bitches about the editing. He actually whined and bitched about a lot of things. He was pretty bitter about the book and about Stanley Kubrick making a buttload of money off the movie. His own protagonist would have bitch-slapped him, cut him up a bit, and raped his mother if he met his creator. Seriously, the guy was a self-important weenie.
[image] Luckily, this author is dead, so I get to trash him without remorse.
So, would I recommend anyone reading this book? No freaking way. I just finished it and I have a headache, am slightly depressed, and will be afraid of teenagers from now on. Just skip this and read something that will make you happy....more
Oh man, how can I trust Ms. Harris with my heart again after the travesty that was the ending of the Sookie Stackhouse series? And yet, here I go agaiOh man, how can I trust Ms. Harris with my heart again after the travesty that was the ending of the Sookie Stackhouse series? And yet, here I go again. A sucker for pain.
[image] Bring it on
This book has a slow pacing, so be aware. It is set in a small town in West Texas, and since I live in Houston, I have been through many of these types of places. The lifestyle is slower. The iced tea is so sweet you will get insta-cavities, which is fine because there always seems to be a lack of teeth going on anyway. And, everyone knows everyone else.
[image]
There is a murder mystery going on, but the main story is about the townspeople. They are not your typical small-town folks. There are vampires, shapeshifters, witches, psychics, and other "to be figured out later" species. It's like the smallest convention of supernatural beings ever.
[image]
This book is about getting to know all of the characters in this town. Each person seems to have something they are hiding. And, each person seems to have some sort of magical thing going on. Plus, the best part? There is a talking cat. And, he says the exact kind of things you would expect a cat to say.
When the cat is forced to help the townspeople rescue his devoted owner:
"Oh, all right," the cat said sullenly. "I must get my feeder back."
If you hate special snowflakes who are always so good at everything, and so strong, and have awesome powers ... If you want to read a story where the If you hate special snowflakes who are always so good at everything, and so strong, and have awesome powers ... If you want to read a story where the "hero" is a weak, submissive, powerless lackey.. If you are tired of reading shifter books about the alpha who is noble, strong, and kind.. And, maybe, for once, you would like to read the story of the loser of a werewolf pack..
Have I ever found the book for you!
Kitty sucks. She is a complete coward who is constantly whining (literally - like a dog whines), cowering, shaking in fear, and hiding behind someone stronger than herself. She is the lowest pup on the totem pole and is super excited when the alpha of the pack rapes her after beating her up because she is so happy to have his attention. She also gives him half of every paycheck because he doesn't work. That's right, our alpha is a bully who beats up women and has the right to have sex with any member of the pack that he wants, even though he has a mate.
Hmm, I wonder why I didn't like it?!
After reading this, all I have to say is "Come back, snowflakes! All is forgiven!"
Cute and fun, like the rest of the series. But, it really took me a long time to like the guy in the book. He was a smug jerk-face douche in the last Cute and fun, like the rest of the series. But, it really took me a long time to like the guy in the book. He was a smug jerk-face douche in the last book, and spent most of this one the same. This guy thinks he is way too good for our girl. He's a duke, after all, and she's just the half-sister of an earl. And, she's Italian - prone to emotions. A scandal waiting to happen. He might consider her for a mistress, but she is nowhere good enough to marry.
[image] The baby is right. He totally deserved that.
Simon, also known as the Dick of Disdain. Oh, I mean the Duke of Disdain, is on the very top of the food chain in aristocracy. He is untouchable in his reputation and plans on marrying only the very best pedigreed of women. He looks down on pretty much everyone else, because there is nobody who is as good as him.
[image] Inspiration for the name?
When he first met Juliana, he was attracted to her and intrigued. He hoped that she was some foreign princess that he could court and he was all charm and smiles. But, then he finds out that she is the half sister of an aristocratic family that already has quite a few stains on their reputation. He immediately drops her like she's a day-old, gluten-free, vegan doughnut. *shudder* And, he engages himself to a boring, safe, aristocratic girl who doesn't like him at all but is willing to do her duty and "lay back and think of England".
Of course, he still is attracted to Juliana, and she is to him. Plus, they keep running into each other as she goes from one faux pas to the next. She's kind of a walking disaster area, but it's fun and exciting - two words that have never entered his life before.
Here's the thing, though. Both of them treat his engagement to this other girl as if it is nothing. They keep meeting up and making out while he's engaged! That pissed me off.
[image] English gardens are so majestic.
In the end, Simon did redeem himself, so it all works out. But still. Could have done without the cheating....more
This was a tough book for me because I kept falling asleep every time I tried to read it. I swear, it was like a giant Xanax.
[image] 30 minutes of the This was a tough book for me because I kept falling asleep every time I tried to read it. I swear, it was like a giant Xanax.
[image] 30 minutes of the endless descriptions and the politics of every single fae creature will do that too.
Plus, on top of the endless descriptions and explanations, October/Toby was weak as hell. She was injured the entire book. By the end of it, she is dragging her half-dead, bleeding corpse around to fight monsters way bigger than her, but she still refuses to shoot first. Seriously, there was one scene when she just needed to shoot the freaking gun that was in her hand to stop everything, but she hesitates and ends up getting someone else killed and herself even more injured- if that were possible. She just stands there, talking to the bad guy who says he is going to kill her. Bitch, shoot him!!
[image]
It was frustrating! Look, I live in Texas. We shoot first and ask questions later. This woman got on my last nerve.
On the good side - the world was interesting. There were a hella lotta fae running around. Plus, there were even two cats I liked - the thornbush cat, and the king of the cats dude. He was interesting and hot, but there wasn't enough of him to keep me awake.
All in all - good book if you have insomnia. ...more
So, it wasn't a bad book. It was fine. I think if someone was considering becoming a florist, they would really like it. But, I really don't care thatSo, it wasn't a bad book. It was fine. I think if someone was considering becoming a florist, they would really like it. But, I really don't care that much about flowers or the florist business. Flowers are pretty. Florists exchange flowers for money. That's all I know... well, until now. But, that was all I really needed to know. Or wanted to know. I was comfortable in my floral ignorance.
This book seriously got bogged down with details of everything flower. I can maybe handle a paragraph of flower descriptions or stuff about the floral industry, but pages and pages of it?
[image]
The bell pepper is right! A bullet to the brain was called for a few times in this story.
[image] Wow! A little dark for Disney, huh? I approve!
Okay, so the story is a mystery with a little bit of romance. The female is a florist, obviously, and the male is a cop. She is a murder suspect, living in Mormon-town, with an abusive ex-husband and meddling mother. He's a pretty cop. That's really all we get about him. Do we need to know more? Or, are we fine with some pod-person with no real background sprouting up and falling in insta-love with our girl? If he's hot enough, I'll allow it...
[image] I'll allow a LOT of things with this guy...
Aside from the over abundance of floral descriptions, I also didn't like the girl. She was way too-stupid-to-live. You need some sort of bookish proof, don't you? Damn. That means more typing for me.
Okay, so she has an ex-husband who beat her and now her sister has a boyfriend who beats her. Her sister calls her while her bf is out, after he beat her up, and asks her to come and pick her up. Our girl runs over there and gets her out of the house, but with much fighting with the bf who shows up. Now, our girl says to herself that this guy WILL definitely beat her up if she goes into his house, and then the guy tells her to get into the house. He doesn't want a scene in his front yard so nobody knows what he is really like. He doesn't have a weapon on her. So, what would you do? A)go quietly into his house knowing full well that he will beat you up. B)Tell him to go fuck himself and leave. C) Kick him in the nuts, tell him to go fuck himself and leave. D)Scream bloody murder that he is a girl-beating asshole, kick him in the nuts, tell him to go fuck himself and leave. E) Any answer but A.
The answer should be E. But, no, our girl chooses option A and gets beat-up. Why? I don't know. There isn't a sane reason on Earth as to why she did this. Except - TSTL.
She also doesn't let the cops know that she is being stalked, harassed, threatened, and run off the road. She steals evidence in the murder investigation and doesn't let the cops know. She finds out tons of information from her "investigation" and doesn't call the cops. Her excuse is that she is a suspect and the homocide detective "has it in for her". Well, there are other cops in the police department, right? TSTL
Then, after she gets almost a confession from one guy, she also doesn't report it and continues to go to his place of business. TSTL
Also, after her whole beat-up incident when she "saved" her sister, she gets another call from a different woman who says she needs to be saved from her abusive husband too. Did she learn her lesson and actually call the cops to handle it this time? Did she bring someone else with her to give her back-up? Did she even tell anyone on the face of the earth that she was doing this? No. Of course not. She goes racing into another stupidly dangerous situation. TSTL
And, it goes on and on...
I really think Darwin was trying to weed this chick out of the gene pool. Unfortunately, Mr. Hottie Cop who has insta-love kept saving her, so I have a bad feeling that procreation is imminent. Damn! That can't be good for society.
[image] For a wedding gift, I'm getting her a toaster and a kiddie pool. Fingers crossed!
There were a couple of good points to the book. I chuckled a couple of times over the weird Mormon society moments. There was a pretty funny scene when Hot Cop orders a beer in a restaurant and all of the customers act as if he just killed a puppy. Being that they live in a small town, her mother calls her the next day, of course, to express her concern. He is now known as The Beer Drinker to mom. She approves of the sister's bf who beats her, though. He did missionary work for the church. Priorities, Mormon-style.
The mystery part was okayish. Which is overall my feeling on the whole book.
Oh, it started with an intriguing storyline - a girl having a fling with a paraplegic guy. That's new, right? Then, it was all cute and
This book.
Oh, it started with an intriguing storyline - a girl having a fling with a paraplegic guy. That's new, right? Then, it was all cute and funny and sweet. I was loving the characters, the amazing dialogue, the falling in lurve.... But, that's how the author lured me into her evil trap of feelings.. Make it look all cute and different and fun and games, then BAM, hit me with emotions, and issues, and pain.
[image]
So, we have a girl named Micky and a guy named Cale. He's paraplegic, but super capable and gorgeous. She is a sweetheart who doesn't care at all about his wheelchair and sees the man inside. She's one of those girls who you know would easily be a good friend. She's funny, nice, and a little quirky (aren't we all a little quirky, girls? Okay, some of us pass quirky and slide straight into the crazy zone. Not me. No, totally sane here. I swear it. Really.)
Oh, but isn't everyone hiding something inside? Nobody is without some scars from life. Life is hard. And, Micky is hiding a LOT beneath the surface. So, once we get deeper into this relationship, stuff starts coming out. It's like the worst pinata ever.
[image]
But, I didn't mind all of the feels that come with this book because it was written in a beautiful way. I devoured this story in one sitting because I just couldn't put it down.
Now, I do need to mention that there were a few things in the story that I wish were explained a little more thoroughly. Things that are touched on, but not really detailed. Like, the strangeness concerning the sex between these two. I was still never quite sure whether or not he could feel anything below the equator. There was some sort of shot involved in the "plumping" process, but I didn't quite understand that either. As a woman of science, I got pretty curious about how this whole thing worked. Does that mean I am tempted to Google questions about paraplegic sex? Yes. Yes, I am. But, will I? Ehh, I'm trying not to. I've been burnt by Googling things in the past. I have some of my goodreads friends to thank for some of these things that are forever etched into my brain. Haunting things...
[image]
So, I'm trying to restrain my Google-fingers. I'll just try and let it go.....
Okay, I read this early in my recent time of what will forever be known as "Internetpocalypse 2017" at my house. We actually lived like these barbariaOkay, I read this early in my recent time of what will forever be known as "Internetpocalypse 2017" at my house. We actually lived like these barbarians by having no internet for over 5 days! I know, I'm somewhat of a brave hero for quietly enduring this disaster of epic proportions. I barely complained at all - less than several times a minute.. hour.. day. And, now it's cold outside. I feel like Not Hoth has been brought to Texas. I'm going to complain even more less about this.
All that to say that I barely remember this book. It was okay, but the female was whiny. Unlike me. She should have taken my example and suffered in silence. ...more
Yes, I'm pulling out the 5-star review, even though it wasn't perfect. I couldn't put the book down and it got to me. I actually had salty discharge cYes, I'm pulling out the 5-star review, even though it wasn't perfect. I couldn't put the book down and it got to me. I actually had salty discharge coming from my eyes at one point. What is the meaning of this sorcery? I was very much calling myself a little bitch for crying, but crying did happen. And, since I rarely cry, I got a headache. *sigh*
It wasn't pretty. [image]
But, after a wine and Percocet cocktail, I'm feeling just fine now.
[image]
Let me just say that if you haven't read the series up to this point, you might want to look away now.
You were warned. Okay, so we have the sucking black holes that are going to suck our planet into oblivion. That's gunna suck. Cuz, we all gonna die. So, Mac & the Gang (anyone else think that would be an awesome name for an '80's tribute band?) need to figure out how to stop these suckers.
[image] I usually don't.
Unfortunately, Mac is now the Sinsar Dubh. Or, it is her. Oh, and it's so evil that it's freaking hilarious. Oh S.D. gets right down to the horrific killing right away. It doesn't even start small, like most serial killers with the bug torture and the pet-killing. No, it gets down to business and takes out a main character in the most disgusting, bloodiest way possible.
[image] Whatever you are imagining, this is worse.
We also get the release of Cruse/V'lane. I've always liked that guy. He is also pretty ambiguous when it comes to the rules of right and wrong. And, unfortunately for humanity, they need him. That's gonna be a problem. He's not exactly super-hero material.
[image] Oh, I stand corrected.
As for Dani/Jada, well, let's remember that in our last episode she had just hopped the fence from Unstableville straight in the PsychoTown. But, don't worry, she still has the Pedo-twins, Ryo and Christian, wanting her. The hot/crazy scale is mightily tested. And yet, since they had shown their propensity for a 14-yr old Dani, maybe the whole thing needs to be on more of a sliding scale for this group.
[image] In case you are unfamiliar. Dani must be on fire! (Or was that Ryo? Oops, too soon?)
But, Christian seems to be off the table, and instead we have a triangle with Dani/Ryo/Dancer. You all know that I have always been a Dancer fan. He has that geeky sex appeal and was actually the only one age appropriate for Dani. And, he was actually a decent guy to her - unlike some pedo-creep that won't be named. Just kidding. It's Ryodan. I never could get on that creepy ship. Ew.
Commence the onion chopping now!
As for the things that weren't perfect:
Yes, there was too much "thinkin'", musing, rambling... But, hey, I feel like KMM wanted to catch us in the feels. And, you will really get into their heads. So, achieved!
The changing of Ryodan's personality. WTH? Suddenly he is the philanthropist? The martyr for humanity? Mr. Nice Guy? Um, no. He's an ass. He was always an ass. He needs to continue his assish ways. Own it, man. I felt like this was just a way for us to be okay with a future relationship. And, oh, let's make sure all of the "impediments" are cleared too. This made me a bit killy. I freaking liked the impediment! *Urge to kill rising*
Okay, time for another cocktail. Enjoy reading this. It has some ups and downs, but it is still a great end to our beloved series.
Although, would it have killed her to write an epilogue? FFS
