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Amish Weddings: From Courtship to Celebration
Not yet published
Expected 25 Mar 25- GenresNonfictionAmish
200 pages, Hardcover
Expected publication March 25, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
December 27, 2024
ARC for review. To be published March 25, 2025.
4 stars, if you are interested in the subject.
Oh, those crazy Amish! Cults, the Amish, kids who kill, those are subjects I just can’t get enough of (oh, except for all those horrible looking Amish romances out there. I hate romance in general, and nothing sounds worse than a nice, hot session of AMISH romances….”Hey, ma’am, mayest I look at thou ankle? Well, I guess we’re engaged now.” Sexy!
Oh, and puppy mills. My fascination with the Amish turns to murderous rage then. Don’t get me started.
However, I’m guessing that probably wouldn’t apply to any of the Amish featured in this book as they look so squeaky clean you could eat off their foreheads (ugh.). This is true life wedding stories of real Amish couples in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, as will as information about the history of Amish weddings and some photos, but none of any actually weddings since the Amish don’t care to be photographed. So that’s kind a bummer for a book like this but the author gamely does her best and generally succeeds.
Lancaster County was home to approximately 44,000 Old Order Amish (spell check does NOT want to recognize “Amish” as a word. SPELL CHECK HATES RELIGIOUS FREEDOM! Or puppy mills.) in 2023, and Old Order Amish will occasionally arrange for their kids to meet other OOA from other places, so sometimes newcomers show up. Anyway, most Amish get hitched, so there are a fair number of weddings each year.
Those weddings can comprise up to 400-500 guests AT THE BRIDE’S home. I can hear my dad off being grateful somewhere….the 300 I had a mine made him suggest elopement and a down payment on a house (but not really. I’m the only daughter and he actually loved playing host. He may be one of the few men I know who, himself, made the wedding MORE expensive.) But I digress. I’m missing my dad.
The Amish construct WEDDING HOUSES (Daddy, are you hearing this???), special kitchens, extra bathrooms, benches, etc. Otherwise they rent these things for a few days as well as things like cooling trucks and port-a-potties. It’s a massive undertaking. And think of how many daughters some of these families have!
The wedding day itself is fourteen hours with multiple meals, each with multiple seatings and the book covers each. You won’t believe how important creamed cooked celery is, and it sounds just awful, so best of luck to them! Meanwhile the bride and groom made be eating LOBSTER or something while you’re there trying to choke down a disgusting plate of creamed celery while trying to pretend like you are happy for the fifth Yoder daughter.
And volleyball. Boy, according to this book volleyball is very important in the lives of the young Amish. Basically I think I learned that I would have never had a chance to get married at all, as I am an abysmal volleyball player. Tending my papa’s cows for life because I can’t set. Tragedy.
So, since I’m low key obsessed with Amish traditions like this (I’m not as much interested in, you know, boring stuff like theology, this book was perfect for me and I quite enjoyed it.
4 stars, if you are interested in the subject.
Oh, those crazy Amish! Cults, the Amish, kids who kill, those are subjects I just can’t get enough of (oh, except for all those horrible looking Amish romances out there. I hate romance in general, and nothing sounds worse than a nice, hot session of AMISH romances….”Hey, ma’am, mayest I look at thou ankle? Well, I guess we’re engaged now.” Sexy!
Oh, and puppy mills. My fascination with the Amish turns to murderous rage then. Don’t get me started.
However, I’m guessing that probably wouldn’t apply to any of the Amish featured in this book as they look so squeaky clean you could eat off their foreheads (ugh.). This is true life wedding stories of real Amish couples in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, as will as information about the history of Amish weddings and some photos, but none of any actually weddings since the Amish don’t care to be photographed. So that’s kind a bummer for a book like this but the author gamely does her best and generally succeeds.
Lancaster County was home to approximately 44,000 Old Order Amish (spell check does NOT want to recognize “Amish” as a word. SPELL CHECK HATES RELIGIOUS FREEDOM! Or puppy mills.) in 2023, and Old Order Amish will occasionally arrange for their kids to meet other OOA from other places, so sometimes newcomers show up. Anyway, most Amish get hitched, so there are a fair number of weddings each year.
Those weddings can comprise up to 400-500 guests AT THE BRIDE’S home. I can hear my dad off being grateful somewhere….the 300 I had a mine made him suggest elopement and a down payment on a house (but not really. I’m the only daughter and he actually loved playing host. He may be one of the few men I know who, himself, made the wedding MORE expensive.) But I digress. I’m missing my dad.
The Amish construct WEDDING HOUSES (Daddy, are you hearing this???), special kitchens, extra bathrooms, benches, etc. Otherwise they rent these things for a few days as well as things like cooling trucks and port-a-potties. It’s a massive undertaking. And think of how many daughters some of these families have!
The wedding day itself is fourteen hours with multiple meals, each with multiple seatings and the book covers each. You won’t believe how important creamed cooked celery is, and it sounds just awful, so best of luck to them! Meanwhile the bride and groom made be eating LOBSTER or something while you’re there trying to choke down a disgusting plate of creamed celery while trying to pretend like you are happy for the fifth Yoder daughter.
And volleyball. Boy, according to this book volleyball is very important in the lives of the young Amish. Basically I think I learned that I would have never had a chance to get married at all, as I am an abysmal volleyball player. Tending my papa’s cows for life because I can’t set. Tragedy.
So, since I’m low key obsessed with Amish traditions like this (I’m not as much interested in, you know, boring stuff like theology, this book was perfect for me and I quite enjoyed it.
December 12, 2024
It may be tempting to think I approached Beth Oberholtzer's "Amish Weddings: From Courtship to Celebration" from a place of fun or even from a place of fetishizing the Amish.
This is far from the truth.
No, I am not Amish. No, I have never been Amish. Yes, I do know members of Indiana's Amish community. Yes, I spent several years in ministry in a branch of the Anabaptist tradition (of which Amish is part of).
The truth is that while I've long recognized the humanity (rather than the public image) of the Amish, I've also long embraced literary efforts to educate and understand.
Oberholtzer's "Amish Weddings" is a deep dive immersion into the world of Amish weddings, a factual and respectful book that strives to portray the "Plain" community with the respect and authenticity it so seldom actually receives. Oberholtzer focuses her lens on real Amish couples across the age spectrum but largely from Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. From courtship to the traditions, practices, expectations, and occasional deviations involved in a daylong wedding event, Oberholtzer has crafted an engaging, informative look - often including stories, history, and remarkable (yet respectful) photos - into the community-wide effort involved in "making" an Amish wedding.
Oberholtzer has long written about Lancaster County and is a trusted writer within the community. This has offered her uncommon access to personal stories from brides and grooms, attendants, "paper ladies," ushers, hostlers, and more. She captures what it's like for a couple to both "celebrate" (in a rather plain way) and also be enveloped by their community of faith.
When I read books about the Amish, I often feel this sense of exploitation of who they are and how they believe. However, I don't get such a sense here even as Oberholtzer provides actual photos from Amish weddings (for the most part avoiding people; when people are involved it's with their permission), menus from weddings, and even a wealth of actual recipes because, of course, food is very much a huge part of weddings.
What I appreciate most about "Amish Weddings" is that Oberholtzer humanizes the journey in a way that makes one appreciate human beings within the experience that is both traditional and remarkably sacred. While many of us, perhaps even most, may not identify with the more plain and traditional ways of the Amish, Oberholtzer helps us understand them, appreciate them, and at least realize the intentionality with which all involved into courtship, dating, and marriage.
Oberholtzer moves well beyond the fetishized Amish romance novel and into the surprising true story of what it means to experience dating, courtship, a wedding, and a marriage as a member of the Amish (in this case, Old Order from Lancaster).
This is far from the truth.
No, I am not Amish. No, I have never been Amish. Yes, I do know members of Indiana's Amish community. Yes, I spent several years in ministry in a branch of the Anabaptist tradition (of which Amish is part of).
The truth is that while I've long recognized the humanity (rather than the public image) of the Amish, I've also long embraced literary efforts to educate and understand.
Oberholtzer's "Amish Weddings" is a deep dive immersion into the world of Amish weddings, a factual and respectful book that strives to portray the "Plain" community with the respect and authenticity it so seldom actually receives. Oberholtzer focuses her lens on real Amish couples across the age spectrum but largely from Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. From courtship to the traditions, practices, expectations, and occasional deviations involved in a daylong wedding event, Oberholtzer has crafted an engaging, informative look - often including stories, history, and remarkable (yet respectful) photos - into the community-wide effort involved in "making" an Amish wedding.
Oberholtzer has long written about Lancaster County and is a trusted writer within the community. This has offered her uncommon access to personal stories from brides and grooms, attendants, "paper ladies," ushers, hostlers, and more. She captures what it's like for a couple to both "celebrate" (in a rather plain way) and also be enveloped by their community of faith.
When I read books about the Amish, I often feel this sense of exploitation of who they are and how they believe. However, I don't get such a sense here even as Oberholtzer provides actual photos from Amish weddings (for the most part avoiding people; when people are involved it's with their permission), menus from weddings, and even a wealth of actual recipes because, of course, food is very much a huge part of weddings.
What I appreciate most about "Amish Weddings" is that Oberholtzer humanizes the journey in a way that makes one appreciate human beings within the experience that is both traditional and remarkably sacred. While many of us, perhaps even most, may not identify with the more plain and traditional ways of the Amish, Oberholtzer helps us understand them, appreciate them, and at least realize the intentionality with which all involved into courtship, dating, and marriage.
Oberholtzer moves well beyond the fetishized Amish romance novel and into the surprising true story of what it means to experience dating, courtship, a wedding, and a marriage as a member of the Amish (in this case, Old Order from Lancaster).
January 3, 2025
Before the wedding: Amish youth join a youth group around sixteen years of age. Amish youth end their school days end after the eighth grade. They begin their progress to adulthood. Both male and female youth work outside the home. They learn to manage their finances.
“Dating is serious; the goal is to find a life partner.” The girl doesn’t make the first move; she waits for the boy to approach her. A first date could be the boy escorting the girl home after church. A young couple may date for several years before deciding to marry.
An Amish wedding emphasizes the importance of relationships, of family, of the church community, and their faith in God. The couple must be members of the Amish Church before they marry. The couple do not exchange rings nor is the wedding attire fancy, there are no photographers or dance bands. The Amish have what they call Plain weddings, of course they add personal touches. An Amish wedding is joyful and traditional. The Amish gather from other communities nearby and far away to witness the joining of two into one (it is not unusual for there to be several hundred attending the wedding.) An Amish wedding lasts all day. There is a long church service followed by a brief wedding ceremony. After a large meal the people play games, sing and play harmless pranks. Often family and friends stay for another meal. A traditional Amish wedding takes place on a Tuesday or Thursday after the fall harvest.
As I read the Foreword of Amish Weddings I contemplated the meaning of a wedding. Have the vows become secondary to dancing down the aisle. I think the Amish may have this right.
Amish Weddings is an informative book explaining the views of the Amish and their traditions from youth to a wedded couple.
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC
“Dating is serious; the goal is to find a life partner.” The girl doesn’t make the first move; she waits for the boy to approach her. A first date could be the boy escorting the girl home after church. A young couple may date for several years before deciding to marry.
An Amish wedding emphasizes the importance of relationships, of family, of the church community, and their faith in God. The couple must be members of the Amish Church before they marry. The couple do not exchange rings nor is the wedding attire fancy, there are no photographers or dance bands. The Amish have what they call Plain weddings, of course they add personal touches. An Amish wedding is joyful and traditional. The Amish gather from other communities nearby and far away to witness the joining of two into one (it is not unusual for there to be several hundred attending the wedding.) An Amish wedding lasts all day. There is a long church service followed by a brief wedding ceremony. After a large meal the people play games, sing and play harmless pranks. Often family and friends stay for another meal. A traditional Amish wedding takes place on a Tuesday or Thursday after the fall harvest.
As I read the Foreword of Amish Weddings I contemplated the meaning of a wedding. Have the vows become secondary to dancing down the aisle. I think the Amish may have this right.
Amish Weddings is an informative book explaining the views of the Amish and their traditions from youth to a wedded couple.
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews