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A Walk on the Beach: Tales of Wisdom from an Unconventional Woman
Shortly after arriving on Cape Cod to spend a year by herself, Joan Anderson's chance encounter with a wise, playful, and astonishing woman helped her usher in the transformations and self-discoveries that led to her ongoing renewal. First glimpsed as a slender figure on a fogged-in beach, Joan Erikson was not only a friend and confidante when one was most needed, but also a guide as Anderson stretched and grew into her unfinished self.
Joan Erikson was perhaps best known for her collaboration with her husband, Erik, a pioneering psychoanalyst and noted author. After Erik's death, she wrote several books extending their theory of the stages of life to reflect her understanding of aging as she neared ninety-five. But her wisdom was best taught through their friendship; as she sat with Anderson, weaving tapestries of their lives with brightly colored yarn while exploring the strength gathered from their accumulated experiences, Joan Erikson's lessons took shape on their small cardboard looms as well as in her friend's revitalized life.
In writing about their extraordinary friendship, Anderson reveals a need she didn't know she had: for a mentor to help navigate the transitions she faced as she grew beyond middle age. And when Joan Erikson had to face her husband's death and the growing limitations of her own body, Anderson was able to give back some of the wisdom she had gleaned. To this poignant, joyful account, Joan Anderson brings the candor and sensitivity that have made her an acclaimed speaker and writer on midlife and its possibilities. A Walk on the Beach is an experience to savor and treasure, a glimpse of the exuberant spirit that can be sustained and passed on in all our friendships.
Joan Erikson was perhaps best known for her collaboration with her husband, Erik, a pioneering psychoanalyst and noted author. After Erik's death, she wrote several books extending their theory of the stages of life to reflect her understanding of aging as she neared ninety-five. But her wisdom was best taught through their friendship; as she sat with Anderson, weaving tapestries of their lives with brightly colored yarn while exploring the strength gathered from their accumulated experiences, Joan Erikson's lessons took shape on their small cardboard looms as well as in her friend's revitalized life.
In writing about their extraordinary friendship, Anderson reveals a need she didn't know she had: for a mentor to help navigate the transitions she faced as she grew beyond middle age. And when Joan Erikson had to face her husband's death and the growing limitations of her own body, Anderson was able to give back some of the wisdom she had gleaned. To this poignant, joyful account, Joan Anderson brings the candor and sensitivity that have made her an acclaimed speaker and writer on midlife and its possibilities. A Walk on the Beach is an experience to savor and treasure, a glimpse of the exuberant spirit that can be sustained and passed on in all our friendships.
225 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2004
About the author
Joan Anderson
11 books198 followersEver since I can remember I have been curious—asking questions, trying to figure out life’s meaning—all in an effort to live fully and get it right. My career began as a stringer reporter for the Gannett newspaper chain. As I practiced the craft of writing, I moved on to photo essays books for children, then the breakthrough book, Breaking the TV Habit, and finally into the genre of memoir. The latter happened quite by accident after I ran away from home, lived a year by the sea on my own, and realized that there was something in this experience worth writing about. So many women I knew wanted or needed to stop the craziness of their lives but had not the will or the ability to do so. By writing my story it has given hundreds of thousands of women the excuse to take themselves away, have their turn, and see who they are beyond the roles that they play.
The six books that have come out of my experiences have all been best sellers and many have been printed in foreign languages. My big boost came when Oprah called and invited me on her show—not once, but twice! There have been several appearances on the Today Show, Good Morning America, ten book tours, and numerous articles headlining me as the “woman who got away,” the runaway wife,” or “the woman who took a sabbatical.” Actually, I’m not any one of these descriptions. I am simply a person who wanted to become a scholar of self and soul.
A vocation has come as a result of my search and my books. I conduct weekends by the sea on Cape Cod for women seeking nourishment and weekend retreats in other parts of the country and abroad such as Sonoma, California, Sedona, Arizona, Iona, Scotland, Omega Institute, Rhinebeck, New York, Kripalu, Berkshires, and Whidbey Island, Washington. Beyond that, I have the pleasure of speaking on women’s topics for organizations throughout the country (see past appearances). I guess you could say that I am truly “as unfinished as the shoreline along the beach, meant to transcend myself again and again.” It is my delight to encourage women to know they too are unfinished.
The six books that have come out of my experiences have all been best sellers and many have been printed in foreign languages. My big boost came when Oprah called and invited me on her show—not once, but twice! There have been several appearances on the Today Show, Good Morning America, ten book tours, and numerous articles headlining me as the “woman who got away,” the runaway wife,” or “the woman who took a sabbatical.” Actually, I’m not any one of these descriptions. I am simply a person who wanted to become a scholar of self and soul.
A vocation has come as a result of my search and my books. I conduct weekends by the sea on Cape Cod for women seeking nourishment and weekend retreats in other parts of the country and abroad such as Sonoma, California, Sedona, Arizona, Iona, Scotland, Omega Institute, Rhinebeck, New York, Kripalu, Berkshires, and Whidbey Island, Washington. Beyond that, I have the pleasure of speaking on women’s topics for organizations throughout the country (see past appearances). I guess you could say that I am truly “as unfinished as the shoreline along the beach, meant to transcend myself again and again.” It is my delight to encourage women to know they too are unfinished.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 244 reviews
November 28, 2014
I am a little out of step with this one compared to others. Many who have reviewed this book appear to have read Joan Andersons other books and liked them. This was her first for me and I confess my reason for wanting to read this was to hear about Joan Erikson her rich and layered life. For me Joan Anderson gets in the way of a wonderful story and misses much, she drove me a little nuts (apologies if this offends). Joan Erikson on the other hand, wow just wow what a gem. I adored her quotes and quips, so much so that I have ordered The Complete Life cycle with the ninth stage included from the library. It is so cool that she embodies all that she has been and continued to be till the end. I wanted more of Joan and her story and less of Ms Anderson's needy wah wah. A little gratitude that she has a house in Cape Cod to run away to would have been nice. She kind of improved after she got over herself and climbed a mountain, but to be honest I am a little baffled why spending a year alone and going to Machu Pichu makes her a motivational speaker……..
July 20, 2018
This is the third volume in a loose autobiographical trilogy about Anderson’s experiment with taking a break from her marriage and living alone in a Cape Cod cottage to figure out what she really wanted from the rest of her life. Specifically, this book is about the inspirational relationship she formed with Joan Erikson, who moved to the area in her eighties when her husband, the famous psychologist Erik Erikson, was admitted to a care home. Joanie was a thinker and author in her own right, publishing books on life’s stages, especially those of older age. She encouraged Anderson to have the confidence to write her own story, and to take up challenges like a trip to Peru and learning to weave on a loom. Joanie’s aphoristic advice is valuable, but there’s a fair bit of overlap between this book and A Year by the Sea, which I would recommend over this.
Some of Joan Erikson’s words of wisdom:
“our devotion to our routines causes us to lose sight of each other as separate individuals.”
“Doing something with your hands, rather than your head, is often the best route to clarity.”
“It’s a weakness to just sit around and wait for a life to come to you.”
“wisdom comes from life’s experiences well digested. Stop relying so much on your mind and get in touch with experience.”
“Taking chances and risking routine are two important ingredients for keeping alive.”
“The struggle is to try and obtain a sense of participation in your life the whole way through. We must treasure old age, but not wallow in nostalgia.”
Some of Joan Erikson’s words of wisdom:
“our devotion to our routines causes us to lose sight of each other as separate individuals.”
“Doing something with your hands, rather than your head, is often the best route to clarity.”
“It’s a weakness to just sit around and wait for a life to come to you.”
“wisdom comes from life’s experiences well digested. Stop relying so much on your mind and get in touch with experience.”
“Taking chances and risking routine are two important ingredients for keeping alive.”
“The struggle is to try and obtain a sense of participation in your life the whole way through. We must treasure old age, but not wallow in nostalgia.”
September 20, 2011
Whereas "A Year By the Sea" was bearable, simply because Joan did have something to say about the process of rediscovering herself after years of giving her all to marriage and child-rearing and other responsibilities, in "A Walk On the Beach" she heads straight towards the cliche. The book is an attempt to record her special friendship with Joan Erikson, and what she learned from that friendship. But in her effort to distill Joan Erikson's "wisdom" into short, meaningful sound-bytes, she takes most of the meaning out. I got the feeling this book was written in a hurry, to augment the self-help "courses" she gives.
November 15, 2023
A thought provoking read.
April 21, 2022
This is probably one of my favorite non-fiction reads. I adore this book. I re-read this book often. I quote this book because so many lines holding meaning to me. I recommend this book equally as often. I was introduced to this book when I was a psychology student, this book offers wisdom that can be found by listening to those who are our elders and respecting the knowledge and life lessons they have to give. I truly do recommend reading it once because I think everyone can take some lesson away from this book, if not many.
October 2, 2017
I picked this book up at a thrift store. The title drew me in- A Walk on the Beach .. why that is one of my favorite things to do!
This book is about Joan Anderson's encounter with a more famous Joan- Joan Erikson, the 90 something yr old widow of renowned psychoanalyst Erik Erikson. They meet at the beach and what follows is the story of their friendship, their meals together, their conversations. Some of it is interesting, inspiring even, while some other parts are a bit too over the top for my tastes. All the self actualization stuff, 'discovering oneself', blah blah.. Reminds me of a time back in the 70's when I had a miserable math professor who was into the EST movement and would come to class and preach about his realizations... instead of teaching math. I'm glad the book didn't cost much. Back to the thrift store it goes.
This book is about Joan Anderson's encounter with a more famous Joan- Joan Erikson, the 90 something yr old widow of renowned psychoanalyst Erik Erikson. They meet at the beach and what follows is the story of their friendship, their meals together, their conversations. Some of it is interesting, inspiring even, while some other parts are a bit too over the top for my tastes. All the self actualization stuff, 'discovering oneself', blah blah.. Reminds me of a time back in the 70's when I had a miserable math professor who was into the EST movement and would come to class and preach about his realizations... instead of teaching math. I'm glad the book didn't cost much. Back to the thrift store it goes.
October 26, 2020
I rated this book 5 stars because of its strong focus on the author's friendship with a remarkable woman. The lessons and wisdom that Joan Erickson had to share from her long, productive, and inspirational life are the backbone of the story and I loved them. I also liked the author's description of her trip to Machu Picchu, which seemed like a culmination of her absorption of Joanie's life lessons.
I think this is a great book for women, and particularly those who may be at a crossroads, whether it be with their marriage, their retirement, their empty-nest status, or some other life-changing event.
I think this is a great book for women, and particularly those who may be at a crossroads, whether it be with their marriage, their retirement, their empty-nest status, or some other life-changing event.
April 4, 2013
I was ready to not like this book and I had to push myself to get through the middle where I was getting pretty impatient with all the self-reflection but I guess the book is trying to teach us to slow down anyway so whether I liked it or not, it made me do this. In the end, I rated it 4 stars because I feel it finished strong and I did learn a few things. A few of the quotes I really liked included "In order not to fail in the end, you have to be dependent on yourself, and know that you can handle things, and most importantly, bring a little humor into the despair. Lightness, imagination, flexibility - these are the things that go into making a new start" (by Raicho Hiratsuka). Also - another by Robert Frost - "It's all about being lost enough to want to find yourself." And finally (by the author) - "A good life is like a weaving. Energy is created in the tension. The struggle, the pull and tug are everything." I know many of my Expat friends read this and I can see why they liked it. This quotes are very applicable to the Expat life (especially in the beginning) but I find them also to be great for those returning from an Expat assignment which I believe to be even harder. Thanks to my Amsterdam friends who suggested I read this even though it is very different from what I normally read.
June 23, 2014
I really enjoyed this book--not because the writing was stellar, but because of the subject of the book. Don't get me wrong, there was nothing really wrong with the style of writing, but that in itself would not have kept me really into the book. Joan Erikson, however, was such a fascinating and inspiring woman that I wanted to know more about her. I could somewhat relate to the authors feeling of being stuck, but I kind of ignored her and just looked to the example that Joan Erikson set.
Joan talked about the stages of development that her husband Erik Erikson had developed and used the example of a weaving to illustrate one's life and the stages we have experienced. I looked at my own life and tried to see how I had gone through the different stages--this book really made me introspective. I came away inspired and wanting to really live life fully and completely.
Joan talked about the stages of development that her husband Erik Erikson had developed and used the example of a weaving to illustrate one's life and the stages we have experienced. I looked at my own life and tried to see how I had gone through the different stages--this book really made me introspective. I came away inspired and wanting to really live life fully and completely.
June 29, 2013
Mediocre writing ....but it is about a great woman Joan Erikson (wife of Erik Erikson). Favorite quotes: "...remain as unfinished as the shoreline along the beach and that you continue to transform yourselves again and again" "Deep within every life, no matter how dull or ineffectual, something eternal is happening"
January 11, 2015
Many of the thoughts in this book are amazing and it's worth the read for insights. However, few of us have the luxury of escaping to Cape Cod and do nothing to rediscover ourselves for a year. That setting (though her lived experience) caused me to read the book with a skepticism that colored my reaction to the book on the whole.
October 15, 2021
An absolute gem of a little book! Affirming and informative. It’s all about the -dash-!! I learned more about graceful and healthy aging from the author and her beautiful 92 year old friend than I have from any other source.
August 29, 2022
Calling all Tuesdays with Morrie fans ... this one's for you. Except, you know, it's about two ladies named Joan who swap advice and wisdom with one another after having met on a beach one day.
The older Joan (92-years-old) encourages the younger Joan (51-years-old) on daily walks and outings together. Young Joan decided to take a "year of solitude" at their family home on Cape Cod away from her husband to decide if she wanted to stay married and "find out who she is besides a wife". It was all a little much for my liking in that regard (Why are so many books lately about wives leaving their husbands to go find themselves? Meh.), but I did like a lot of the things Old Joan shared. Old Joan was married to Erik Erikson, a psychologist who worked alongside Sigmund Freud, so she had quite the interesting spouse—and herself was a dancer—so "unconventional" was right up her alley and probably why she connected so easily to Young Joan during her marriage sabbatical.
Old Joan said things along the lines of "life is short, do what makes you happy" and "don't worry about people who aren't worrying about you." But, my personal favorite, was to "make good with your dash"—aka on your tombstone, there is a dash between the year you are born and the year you die. What do you do with the time between? I need to take a lot of that to heart myself.
What I appreciated most about this memoir was that the friendship between both Joans spanned four decades and proved that you can't put an age on being kindred spirits. Many of my dearest and most cherished friendships are with wonderful women not in their 30s like me—in fact, I lovingly dub them my "cool older sisters" (here's looking at you Elisa, Vanessa, Kim, and Laureen!). In conversations with each of these women over the years, they've reminded me that some stuff just isn't important—and that the stuff that is, IS. These women, in a roundabout way, are my own Old Joan (don't take offense to the descriptor, ladies). We may not take foggy beach walks or knit together, but we laugh, dine together, attend concerts, discuss books, and yes, swap stories about life and hardships, too. I leave our conversations and time spent in each other's company, no matter how brief, always uplifted. And that's what Young Joan gets out of her friendship with Old Joan—and honestly, vice versa! I can only hope I can be an uplift to my cool older sisters, too.
My mom passed this book along to me after reading it herself. No doubt, she was probably drawn to the title as she has a deep love of the ocean. If nothing else, I'm glad I read this one knowing her hands turned the pages, too.
The older Joan (92-years-old) encourages the younger Joan (51-years-old) on daily walks and outings together. Young Joan decided to take a "year of solitude" at their family home on Cape Cod away from her husband to decide if she wanted to stay married and "find out who she is besides a wife". It was all a little much for my liking in that regard (Why are so many books lately about wives leaving their husbands to go find themselves? Meh.), but I did like a lot of the things Old Joan shared. Old Joan was married to Erik Erikson, a psychologist who worked alongside Sigmund Freud, so she had quite the interesting spouse—and herself was a dancer—so "unconventional" was right up her alley and probably why she connected so easily to Young Joan during her marriage sabbatical.
Old Joan said things along the lines of "life is short, do what makes you happy" and "don't worry about people who aren't worrying about you." But, my personal favorite, was to "make good with your dash"—aka on your tombstone, there is a dash between the year you are born and the year you die. What do you do with the time between? I need to take a lot of that to heart myself.
What I appreciated most about this memoir was that the friendship between both Joans spanned four decades and proved that you can't put an age on being kindred spirits. Many of my dearest and most cherished friendships are with wonderful women not in their 30s like me—in fact, I lovingly dub them my "cool older sisters" (here's looking at you Elisa, Vanessa, Kim, and Laureen!). In conversations with each of these women over the years, they've reminded me that some stuff just isn't important—and that the stuff that is, IS. These women, in a roundabout way, are my own Old Joan (don't take offense to the descriptor, ladies). We may not take foggy beach walks or knit together, but we laugh, dine together, attend concerts, discuss books, and yes, swap stories about life and hardships, too. I leave our conversations and time spent in each other's company, no matter how brief, always uplifted. And that's what Young Joan gets out of her friendship with Old Joan—and honestly, vice versa! I can only hope I can be an uplift to my cool older sisters, too.
My mom passed this book along to me after reading it herself. No doubt, she was probably drawn to the title as she has a deep love of the ocean. If nothing else, I'm glad I read this one knowing her hands turned the pages, too.
August 4, 2023
(4.5/5) This book is very special and contains many wonderful insights from both Joan Anderson and Joan Erikson. Growing old can seem very scary, but this book emphasizes that each part of our lifespan is precious and can endow us with unique strengths if we are willing to seek them out. I appreciated Joan Erikson’s lessons about getting out of our minds and into our bodies. She believed that action allows you to truly experience the world rather than just observing it or letting it pass you by.
I think this book would be particularly impactful for someone in their mid life that is experiencing regret or confusion about their life’s direction and someone who is about to begin a new phase of life!
I think this book would be particularly impactful for someone in their mid life that is experiencing regret or confusion about their life’s direction and someone who is about to begin a new phase of life!
September 19, 2019
This is the third book I've read by Joan Anderson, the previous ones being A Year by the Sea and An Unfinished Marriage. So far, An Unfinished Marriage and this one, A Walk on the Beach, are tied for my least favorite. This book did have some good moments and some good quotes, but Joan Anderson idolized Joan Erikson to the point where she did indeed seem like a "goddess," as some of her other devotees called her. I guess anyone who can talk a fifty-something woman into hiking the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu certainly deserves some credit. Since I bought copies of all three books, I have been highlighting quotes that I thought I might want to go back and reread. In the first book, I highlighted many quotes, and almost as many in the second. In this book, I highlighted a few quotes in the first third of the book. During the rest of the book, Joan Erikson was working on an addition to her husband's (Erik Erikson) work, and most of the conversations revolved around that. Glancing through the Goodreads reviews, I guess I am in the minority, but I was not all that impressed by Joan Erikson. A lot of what she said reminded me of the New Age mumbo-jumbo I used to read. I gave that up pretty quickly.
This book gets four stars more for the parts that were specifically about Joan Anderson's life rather than Joan Erikson's. Others are free to disagree; it's a free country.
This book gets four stars more for the parts that were specifically about Joan Anderson's life rather than Joan Erikson's. Others are free to disagree; it's a free country.
July 11, 2010
What an amazing book! What an amazing woman Joan Erikson was! As a human development major, everything I've studied and continue to study about Erik Erikson's stages were the backbone of her wisdom, intellect, metaphorical and poetic language. This book was very well written, bravo to Joan Anderson! I will look forward to reading more of her work. Even at my young age, I relate with Joan Anderson and share some of her experiences when I ran away to Cape Cod, to find myself. I too had the fortune to meet a lovely older woman and she too was influential in many ways. I'm glad I happened to have chosen to read this book, without even knowing about the content. I am fortunate to have things in common with both Joan Erikson and the Author Joan Anderson. I loved this book because it's encouraging and makes me want to live life to the fullest, like these two wonderful ladies. I was so moved that I want to someday soon go hike the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu, just like Joan Anderson did. The last chapter of the book even made me shed a tear or two because I felt like "Joanie" was someone I personally knew and that I was the one saying goodbye to her forevermore. This book was influential and fun to read!
January 27, 2012
I think I liked this book... Some of it was discussion about self-discovery that I didn’t really “get”. It’s written by a woman who basically escapes to the Oceanside to rediscover who she is, and she meets an old lady who helps her in this journey. It’s all about stuff like being your own person, and doing what you love, and dancing through life since you never know when it’s going to end. I got to the end and felt like there was something I completely missed through reading the whole book, and that I should have learned something or applied it to me in some way. But I didn’t. I don’t think the book failed, but somehow I failed to internalize it. It was enjoyable to read, but maybe I should read it again to really understand what the author was trying to tell me
October 22, 2012
I had to read this book for college. I had a hard time putting it down from the minute I started reading it. I have always been intrigued by Erik Erikson and even more with his wife Joanie. Joanie taught me that you cannot stop playing because we are getting older. We grow older because we stop playing. I really loved the friendship that Joan and Joanie had up to the very end. It also showed me that you should never judge someone because they are old and you should get to know older adults, we can surely learn alot from them. I highly recommend this book and would read it over and over again.
August 17, 2012
After reading her previous 2 books I found myself wanting ... Almost needing to know more about Joan Anderson's friend and mentor ; Joan Erickson. I was pleasantly surprised this 3rd book was about Joan Erickson This book I took time with had to read and then chew on what I read I intend on reading this one again using my highlighter and post it's. Wonderful insights, quotes, thoughts and ideas. I also want to attend one of J Anderson's retreats now!!! Also intend to read some of j ericksons books. Very powerful for me!
May 25, 2022
A beautiful portrait of a kindred spirit relationship. If you’ve ever seen Fried Green Tomatoes, Joan erikson reminds me much of the character played by Jessica Tandy.
Ive enjoyed this book most of the trilogy. The first opened my eyes so much, the 2nd i felt joan anderson’s apprehensions and her growth, this one gave a fuller picture of the entire year by the sea i felt, to include her time with joan erikson. What a rich friendship they shared, however brief.
Ive enjoyed this book most of the trilogy. The first opened my eyes so much, the 2nd i felt joan anderson’s apprehensions and her growth, this one gave a fuller picture of the entire year by the sea i felt, to include her time with joan erikson. What a rich friendship they shared, however brief.
March 10, 2008
My principal (thank you PS) gave me this book when I was going through alot of very difficult changes in my life. I found it inspirational, to say the least, and since I have read everything that she has written. Overall a really good non-fiction read that you come out of better than when you went in.
August 3, 2009
This is a quick read with some insightful inspections by Joan Erikson, wife of renown psychologist Erik Erikson. There are parts that I would have liked to have found out more of the story that Anderson breezes over - details are forgotten and only the basics are given.
It does describe a beautiful, sound friendship and embracing the moment. An uplifting story.
It does describe a beautiful, sound friendship and embracing the moment. An uplifting story.
June 27, 2014
I love reading Joan's earlier books, A Year by the Sea, and An Unfinished Marriage. I read them frequently to remind me of the wisdom shared. This book is good as well; sharing many wonderful insights. My favorite: "So,I advise you to take care of yourself and let yourself grow old." We are never to old to savor life and learn something new. Thanks for the reminder and the challenge!
September 21, 2018
I don't often give a book 5 stars
This book touched my soul .. I look forward to reading more by Joan Anderson. I look forward to gifting this book to special women in my life. I also look forward to reading this book again to absorb all that I missed the first time.
This book touched my soul .. I look forward to reading more by Joan Anderson. I look forward to gifting this book to special women in my life. I also look forward to reading this book again to absorb all that I missed the first time.
April 19, 2020
How truly fortunate it was that Joan Anderson met Joan Erickson on the beach and even more fortunate to gain her as a mentor. I highly recommend reading this book to anyone looking for a view into the friendship of these women.
July 12, 2022
What else can I say but FABULOUS! So much wisdom combined within a true story of friendship. A moving & heartfelt tale makes the reader look inside but learn that “getting outside of your head” is also so important.
December 29, 2017
This was a pretty good book. I would recommend it to readers liking warm and fuzzy books.
May 6, 2018
Some of the dialogue is stilted/feels forced or contrived to make a point, but as a whole I just loved this book!
September 23, 2018
Boring I could not finish
December 30, 2018
Wonderful read with lots of wisdom. Hope to use. As a book club eventually!!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 244 reviews