8 Mistakes Couples Make With Their Wedding Gift Money

Curating a wish list of must-have items for your registry can be an exciting part of the wedding-planning process, but it also takes time out of your already jam-packed schedule. Plus, since soon-to-be spouses typically register for household items for their newlywed home, if you and your partner are already living together, you probably won’t find much use for another coffee maker or an additional throw blanket. Instead, the two of you may simply prefer that your guests give you money, so you can save up for a future investment or spend it on a shared experience.

Enter: wedding cash funds. These online registries give you the ability to ask for money instead of traditional gifts by setting up various funds, such as a honeymoon fund, a first-home fund, a date-night fund, or even a too-tired-to-cook fund for guests to contribute to, according to Kate Moncada, founder of Golden Hour Planning. Instead of requesting that each attendee spend a certain amount of money, cash funds give loved ones the autonomy to choose an amount that they feel comfortable spending based on their budget. If this online route doesn’t fit the bill, you can also file a request for checks or a wad of bills on your wedding website and ask friends and family to spread the word.

Once guests have made their monetary contributions, you might think that you’re free to spend the financial gift whenever you please and on whatever you want. However, there are a handful of mistakes that newlyweds tend to make with their gifted money, which can have consequences, from getting you in financial trouble to causing an argument with your spouse.

Wondering how to spend your wedding gift money in a fiscally responsible and productive way? Avoid these eight mistakes, according to three professional wedding planners.

Not Discussing the Intent of Your Cash Fund

Asking guests for money or creating a cash fund without consulting your partner about its purpose is a faux pas that Jacquelyn Aleece, owner and founder of The Wedding Plan & Company, often sees. If you don’t have this initial conversation, you and your significant other might have completely different intended uses for the money, which can cause conflict between the two of you once you start spending it.

Instead of waiting until after the wedding, Aleece stresses the importance of discussing how you’ll use the gifted money before you hold your nuptials. “You should be in agreement prior to asking guests for cash,” the planner notes. Not only will this chat avoid a short-lived argument, but it will also contribute to the longevity of your marriage by setting the tone for the way you handle finances.

Neglecting Thank-You Notes

Forgetting to send a thank-you note to anyone who contributed to your cash fund is a big blunder that will come across as ungrateful or even greedy. Even though these contributors aren’t buying a tangible gift, they’re still putting money aside to support you and invest in your married lives, so they deserve the same amount of recognition as anyone who buys a gift from a traditional registry. 

On your thank-you cards, Moncada recommends making the message as personal as possible, such as writing, “Thank you for bringing us one step closer to buying our first home,” or “Thank you for making our dream honeymoon possible.” Expressing gratitude for the cash without a meaningful message won’t have the same effect.

Forgetting to Note Gift-Givers’ Names

In order to send a proper thank-you card to each contributor, you’ll need to jot down their names, per Moncada. Failing to do so will result in a stressful, haphazard experience of trying to track down which individuals gifted you money—or worse, skipping thank-you notes altogether.

If you’re only using a wedding cash fund and no registry, you won’t have to worry about compiling the right names—you’ll express gratitude to your entire guest list. But if you gave your group the option of buying something off the registry or donating to your online fund/sending you a check or cash, you’ll need to make a note of their names.

Overlooking the Importance of Setting a Budget

If you and your partner haven’t established a realistic budget for your wedding gift money, you’ll probably find yourselves wasting all of your cash on insignificant purchases—until your fund is gone. “Impulse spending or lack of financial planning can lead to missed opportunities for meaningful investments,” says Jung Lee, head and co-founder of Fête.

To prevent this unfortunate situation from happening, Lee recommends setting a budget that outlines how you’ll allocate your wedding gift money, such as spending a designated portion on travel, home décor, shared hobbies, and your future savings. “Having a clean plan ensures the money is spent intentionally and on the things that matter to both partners,” Lee says.

Using Cash Gifts to Offset Wedding Splurges

Some couples only request money as their preferred wedding gift to offset extravagant, big-budget purchases that they made for their nuptials—but couldn’t afford. Viewing the cash or checks as a way to alleviate debt is a dangerous mentality to adopt, according to Allece. “Never, ever choose your wedding budget and spend money on a wedding because you think you will ‘make the money back’ in cash gifts, Aleece emphasizes.

Instead, throw a celebration with a price tag that’s reasonable and realistic for you, and spend your wedding gift money on thoughtful purchases or future investments, such as a couple getaway or a down payment on your first home.

Waiting Too Long to Cash Checks

After your big day, stashing your wedding gift checks in your bedside table or letting the money sit in your cash fund are behaviors to dodge, per Moncada. With checks, if you delay cashing them in, they might expire. And with a registry, you might forget about your financial gift if you don’t withdraw your funds right away. 

Whether you asked for money via your wedding website or an online fund, though, waiting too long to put them in a savings or checking account is a missed opportunity. “Make sure you cash out immediately, so that the money can start collecting interest,” Moncada suggests. “It's the gift that keeps on giving.”

Spending the Money on Everyday Essentials

The money that you receive for your wedding is a gift, so you should treat it as such. Spending your friends and family’s monetary presents on everyday expenses, such as rent, groceries, or bills, might seem like a practical, fiscally responsible move, but you’ll eventually find that you’ve spent it all, little by little, on nothing meaningful, according to Lee.

Instead of adding the entirety of your cash gift to your checking account, where you’ll likely blow it on daily essentials, Lee advises creating a separate bank account with a designated amount to spend on a memorable keepsake. “This could be a once-in-a-lifetime honeymoon experience, meaningful home décor, or a lasting asset, like a piece of art or custom furniture,” she poses. It’s fine to use some of your wedding gift money on everyday expenses, as long as there’s some leftover for tangible reminders of your nuptials or other significant investments.

Failing to Invest in Lasting Keepsakes

While throwing all of your money at everyday costs is a likely pitfall, it’s just as common to spend the cash on short-lived pieces or experiences with zero sentimental value, according to Lee. “Consumables or trendy items might not provide long-term joy or memories,” she notes.

Rather than splurging on home décor that will go out of style or takeout meals that you’ll forget about, invest in timeless pieces and quality experiences, from a monogrammed picture frame to an extravagant date night. “Opt for items that reflect the couple’s personal style and will be cherished for years to come,” she says.