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30 Women Anonymously Ask Men Their Most Blunt Questions And Get Unfiltered Answers
Interview With ExpertThere are things you just don’t ask over dinner. But online? Anything goes.
Women of Reddit took full advantage of this, dropping the spiciest, most awkward, and boldly honest questions they’d been dying to ask men. And with no names attached, they got unfiltered answers from those ready to spill the truth.
Check out some of the most eye-opening ones below, and don’t miss our conversation with love and relationship coach Jessica Elizabeth Opert on how women can build confidence in their dating lives.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I know it’s the trend to have big lips, but do you think thin lips are attractive. Thoughts on lips with filler vs naturally thin lips.
Raspberries2: I think big lips from injections look deformed.
[deleted]: Natural is ALWAYS best. Nails. Eyelashes. Bewbs. Everything.
NinjaDi**khead: Thin or big lips are both good. I prefer thin lips rather than unnatural big lips (they just move weird, and it's very noticeable despite what your surgeon told you).
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#2
If the girl makes the first move, does it turns you off or not?
actuallyanicehuman: Having a girl who owns her power is hot. Definitely sexy.
VersedFlame: If a girl made a first move on me I'd probably be stunned for the entirety of that day and only thinking about her.
#3
If married , do you find it easy to stay faithful? If single, would you give up multiple partners for one woman forever?
Fencius: Married ten years next July. It’s not hard to stay faithful, and if anything it’s gotten easier over time. My life with my wife is too important to s***w around with.
IJourden: Married, and it’s easy to stay faithful.
If someone is struggling with it there could be a lot of reasons:
the relationship is in bad shape/lacks intimacy and validation
a pathological problem, like low self esteem, narcissism, self destructive, compulsive or risk taking behavior.
not valuing the relationship or trying to wreck it
not being in the right kind of relationship dynamic, such as being monogamous when they would prefer polyamory
But yeah… If you’re honest with yourself, honest with your partner, and in a healthy relationship with good communication, being faithful to the dynamics of the relationship is not difficult.
Women today have more freedom in dating than ever before. That doesn’t mean the challenges or lingering biases have disappeared, but if they choose to openly pursue someone, they’re unlikely to draw shocked stares. Still, research shows that just because they can, doesn’t mean they do.
A survey by Match.com found that most single men actually prefer when women take the initiative—95% are in favor of women making the first move for a kiss, 93% want them to initiate sex, and 95% appreciate it when a woman asks for their number. Yet in reality, only 29% of women go for the first kiss, just 23% initiate sex, and only 13% ask for a man's number.
If men are so enthusiastic, why aren’t more women stepping up? Love and relationship coach Jessica Elizabeth Opert shared her thoughts with Bored Panda:
“Both men and women in today’s dating scene are experiencing lower levels of resilience to rejection,” she explained. “Dating is seen as a high-stakes, risky business, and of course, heartbreak is a terrible experience. However, we have become so focused on that possibly distressing eventual outcome that even the first message on a dating app is treated with the same caution.”
#4
Does a girl burping, farting, snorting etc really not bother you? A lot of guys say they don't but I know some who do.
Omg_a_wee_todd: Nope, I've been with my G/F for 2 years now and every morning we cut an air biscuit and fist bump the other person. However... We have a mutual understanding no heads will be forced under the covers... She doesn't have my Reddit account so I can say this, I cannot wait to propose in March!
Update!: There were a few things that came up (hence the wait), but she said yes! Also, I should clarify it's most mornings we both fart, at least one of us, but not always both. Hope y'all find the same happiness I have.
TheeFryingDutchman: Nope. It's a sign that you are comfortable enough around me. So I always love it when a girl just let's it fly.
Don Adams 1 day ago
Not at all. We are humans, we all belch, fart and snort. Why can I, as a man, take pride in an extra loud burp or a. Impressive fart, and expect my girlfriend/partner/wife to not also have these natural body functions? As long as we can smile and laugh, and use the obligatory excuse me, all is good.
#5
Do you have an urge to moan during sexual activity and hold it back due to some societal bs (or some other reason) or do you just not get that urge as much as women? Stereotyping vs legitimate differences
Edit: the Vibe I'm getting from this is there's no one answer to this and every man is different. Well no duh. That's a great discovery.
But now I'm wondering how many women do it out of urge vs for the benefit of their partner. Sensing a theme here.
MrDownhillRacer: I don't get the urge to moan at all. I pretty much have to remind myself to make sounds because I've read all that "women like it when you make sounds" stuff. I don't know how believable I'm being.
Wagemage314: I was silent for many years. Wife said she wanted feedback. Turns out, Primal Growls are what I was suppressing. Deep and guttural. Bear like. She likes.
Lost Panda 1 day ago
Silence... I have no urge to make any noise. I do, but like the one above said it's for her not me
#6
How often are unwanted public boners an actual issue?
HyperWolfe: As a young teenager in school they were annoying, 99 percent of the time you aren't even turned on, like a light breeze could go past the front of your pants and it was an instant b***r, now as an adult you don't get them very often and by now you know multiple ways of hiding them. In a weird way I almost miss getting random boners
candyflip93: You learn how to deal with it by aging, so not that often anymore. It used to be really funny, taking the bus and miss your station bcz you're waiting for your stiffy ti f**k off.
JosephFDawson: There are 3 kinds of elections
some are sexual.
some occur during periods of nervous tension.
and there's mysterious 3rd kind that no one really understands. It happens when your schlong decides to take matters into its own hands. No reason b***r.
Calvin Smelliott 1 day ago
Seriously, sometimes it’s like, “What do you want? All I did was make a sandwich.”
Feelings of rejection or even shame, especially for women, can persist through many stages of a relationship—particularly when intimacy comes into play. As a result, they may hold back from expressing their true feelings, avoid voicing concerns, or hesitate to communicate when sex isn’t enjoyable.
Studies show that anywhere from 15.2% to 50.4% of women aren’t satisfied with their sex lives. Only 36% have never faked an orgasm, and sexual dissatisfaction is cited as a factor in 50% of divorces. In fact, women consistently report lower sexual satisfaction compared to men.
“Our society has told, and often still tells, women that our sexual pleasure and veracity are shameful,” said Opert. “This is reaffirmed by politics that directly tell us even our bodies, and the decisions we will ultimately carry the largest responsibility for, are not ours to make.”
#7
I’m very self conscious of being naked with a guy for the first time, I have a very large scar in one of my breasts from when I had a lump removed like two years ago. Do guys care about that sort of thing? I am trying to make the scar look nicer but it’s hard to make it go away completely and I’m worried that it might turn some guys off, especially considering I really like having my b**bs played with or like sucked on. Sorry if TMI 😭.
NinjasVenom: I don’t. Scars tell someone’s story and how they are there and if you are scared of showing people the scar and you showed me the scar while being naked I’d feel honored that you trusted me that much with your body.
M-F-W: I dated a woman with breast reduction surgery who was really self-conscious about the scars. They weren’t particularly noticeable but could definitely tell when I was uhhh all up in her business, so to speak.
I did appreciate her letting me know that she was self conscious and she appreciated me being gentle in return. By the end of our relationship, I’d kiss the scars as foreplay and stuff (that was over the course of a couple years and was very much consensual, I wouldn’t just jump straight to scar-play lol).
TLDR: You’re good. We’re all self-conscious about something. You can tell your partner you’re self conscious ahead of time and their response will actually tell you plenty. Someone one who isn’t mindful/respectful of that isn’t worth your time, in bed or in romance.
#8
If I thought you were hot and I wanted to approach you, what would be the best way to go about it?! I like want to meet more men, but idk how to approach them.
NinjaD**khead: When I was 14, a girl passing by raised her head and said "you are very handsome". I am 40 now, and I still remember what I was wearing, how she looked like, how her friends looked like... that's how unusual it is for us.
So yeah, be straight forward, but not too blunt, because we might think it's a joke.
Come talk to us, that's all it takes.
Fulminero: We CANNOT, I repeat CANNOT get "hints".
"Hey, I think you're attractive, wanna chat?"
DizzyNerd: Unless he’s the guy who thinks he’s gods gift to women, he likely doesn’t know someone is into him. We’re naïve and society has taught us to be somehow. So many guys I know had no idea. He may be secretly hoping but is internally freaking out and doesn’t wanna s***w it up.
Say hi. Get to know him. If it’s worth it after that, say something if he doesn’t make it obvious first.
#9
How do I tell if a guy is being genuine? Sometimes I feel like men just tell me what I want to hear in order to sleep with me and will fake literally everything including the stuff they like. I need help with figuring out what their intentions are especially if they are not being honest.
[deleted]: My suggestion is to first ask them about what things they like. Not only are you learning about their interests as I hope they are learning yours, but you are also learning how they emote when talking about something they have real feelings about.
Ditto for asking about things they dislike or hate.
I'm an autistic male and gauging genuine-ness is hard for me. And what I learn about one person never seems to translate into a general skill I can apply to others.
I've learned to deliberately invoke something I know they will be genuine about first and then compare subsequent interactions to that.
McRibEater: Watch out for guys who say all the right things. The biggest players I know are also the ones who really put it on early. Most guys who really like you are nervous to start off like you are.
RavenousIron: I'm gonna keep it a buck with you. If you are meeting most guys on dating apps, 90% of them are strictly looking to get laid. They will tell you every trick in the book to get this done, and yes that means playing the genuine card. I'd suggest being up front with guys that you meet and telling them that you are looking for something more serious. That is usually a good way to see if they just want a quick f**k or actually want to put in the work.
So it’s no surprise that for many women, the safest place to ask men honest and unfiltered questions—without fear of judgment—is anonymously online.
However, avoiding difficult conversations doesn’t prevent heartbreak; it only postpones it. If we never speak up about what bothers us or share what we truly want, we end up settling for less.
And if someone rejects us, that’s not a failure—it’s just proof they weren’t the right person. After all, why invest time in someone who doesn’t care about our pleasure, interests, or needs?
“My entire coaching ethos is about empowering women to be in the driver’s seat of their romantic lives,” said Opert. With her clients, she helps them recognize that they are just as worthy of choosing as they are of being chosen. “If we have the mindset of ‘What will they like about me?’ instead of ‘What do I actually like about this person I’m on a date with?’ it places women in a powerless position.”
But you do have power. Taking control of your love life starts with how you see yourself. So next time you go on a date, try changing your perspective—focus on what you want. And if you’re struggling, consider talking to a professional. Just don’t sell yourself short.
#10
Do guys really care if a chick’s lowers are groomed/waxed? Or do you not care?
MacKelvey: I like some grooming. She doesn’t have to be completely bare but trimmed and maintained is always nice.
[deleted]: I prefer if it is, but can't reasonably demand it. Definitely appreciated though.
Peelfest2016: I keep my business pretty trimmed up. I’d appreciate the same. I don’t need fully shaved, but trimming is very appreciated. When my gf asked me why I even care what length it’s at if it doesn’t get completely smooth anyway, I told her “you know how you make me trim my mustache because if it gets too long the hairs go up your nose when we kiss? That’s why.”
[deleted]: A definite plus and turn on. The hair gets wet, sticky, rubs and pull.
TotallyNOTAFox 23 hours ago (edited)
Depending on the activity expected I'd say, munching a raw-wool carpet isn't a great experience for example
#11
Do you guys REALLY enjoy going down on us, or do you just deal?
Ilmioaccount18piu: Do you really enjoy having a d**k in your mouth? It depends of course, but if the person giving or*l is enjoying it, the person who receives it will clearly notice.
arothmanmusic: Yes, absolutely. It’s one of my most favorite things in the world.
Doctor Strange 1 day ago
I prefer to use my hands, because I DO enjoy making my partner feel good. I'm a sensualist, and I very much enjoy playing with my partner's body, and I love knowing that I was able to make her feel physical pleasure.
#12
Can you actually feel us clenching around the d**k?
BlademasterFlash: And it feels amazing
arothmanmusic: Depends on the girl and her kegels. I once dated a girl who could literally prevent me from pulling out if she wanted to.
jakeb71097: Yes one of my exes and I were in bed for the first time and I got her to climax and it took me by surprise the amount of power she had in that muscle
#13
Do y’all get post n*t clarity work after you’ve had s*x with someone you love?
in-a-microbus: Absolutely! It's just a clarity about different things. Instead of "I've made a mistake, I regret this decision" it's more "don't forget to put three garbage bins out".
SatinWalrus: It comes and it goes, but it never stays long enough.
Forrest Hobbs 14 hours ago
Can anyone translate the original question? I have no idea what it means.
#14
Is the s*x different with a girl you don’t want to see again and a girl you do? Is the intimacy different, the lead up etc?
RandeKnight: Just making out with someone I love is better than monkey s*x with a stranger.
MacKelvey: Yes. I’m much more bold with a woman I know I’ll never see again.
#15
Do you prefer boxers or briefs?
Foxsayy: The only true answers.
Briefs are way too tight and uncomfortable. Boxers are way too lose and they feel like wearing a pair of unruly shorts under your pants.
Boxer briefs are the goldilocks of underwear.
Nomad493YT: Briefs. Feels snug and comfy.
Lost Panda 1 day ago
Boxer briefs. Wore them for the first time when I bought them by mistake... Now it is all I will wear
#16
I'm a very pale woman but my b*tt and v*lva area are pretty dark.
Even the line for my b**tcrack is dark.
Is this gross to you guys? LOL.
maybehun: This is very very normal by the way. It’s from hormones. Most people have darker genitalia.
ProsperoFinch: As long as the skin is clean, and there are no abnormal smells, we don’t care. If you’re doing stuff with us, we are happy to be there. We are so happy to be there with you, to see you naked, to feel your skin against ours, to experience pleasure with you.
Anyone who is grossed out by your unique traits isn’t someone you want to be with anyway, so if they ditch you or dump you over it, then they’ve filtered themselves out for you. Those kinds of people are f**kheads who don’t deserve to get f**ked in the fun way.
Peter Bear 17 hours ago
Thank you, Prospero. That really needed to be said, and you said it quite well.
#17
If you can’t finish, is it our fault?
manateewallpaper: only if you start asking mood killer questions like that right in the middle of the act.
bloodguzzlingbunny: Nope, not ever. I have been on antidepressants before that made it very difficult to orgasm. Honestly, when I am really into the person, I am just happy to be there. Not reaching the top of the hill isn't nearly as important as being with who I am traveling with.
Skara Brae 1 day ago
There's a spectrum of possible reasons. Just plain being tired is one. Another is if a guy (with any concern about mutual satisfaction) notices his partner is losing interest, that kills the mood immediately. This can make him try to hurry up by tensing up his buddy, but that reduces sensitivity, which only makes the situation worse. If she doesn't seem to care either way, that's not good either. Conversely, If she is enjoying the interaction enough, her parts feel tighter and warmer. It's the warmth more than anything that makes things work out really, really well.
#18
Are you looking at my b***hole when you do it from behind?
dnaoriginal: If lights are on, yes, if lights are off, yes.
NotBearhound: Focusing on the whole, not the hole.
Idaho_In_Uranus: I can see it, but I’m not necessarily looking at it. I’m more focused on the jiggle of the buns and my stroke point. The b***hole is just kinda in the periphery.
JayWantsACat 16 hours ago
Looking, but not staring. I'm usually looking between several things and then the whole, rinse repeat.
#19
Where do you put your b*lls when you ride a bike?
AdamBomb_RB: I ride a bike daily at school and I've never once thought about that, lol.
But for a more detailed answer, they don't really "get in the way" 'cause our, uh, genitals are, like, more forward/higher up than womens', so when we sit down our b*lls are, like, between our legs, and on a bike, or any seat for that matter, the actual part making contact with the seat is just your a**.
candyflip93: Not kidding, I don't even know how I manage that, like when I really want to find out and do it manually, it doesn't work and hurts a lot. The only way is to just do it and leave the rest to your b*lls memory.
#20
How do you feel about s*x during period?
McRibEater: Turn off the lights, throw down a towel and get to work. One of the reason I enjoy doing it during this time is Women seem super turned on during their period.
JBounce369: I'm definitely an outlier here but I could never. Any blood, and especially not my own, makes me nauseous.
#21
Do your b*lls really move depending on the weather, if so, does it feel weird?
ChunksMcGoo: It's temperature dependent and sometimes it can feel weird like if you go from warm house to cold outside or jump into a cold pool in the summer.
The_WandererHFY: Passive system, it just does its thing. The boys gotta stay climate controlled.
The reason for that is that sp*rm need a certain temp range, and core body temp is too high. Gotta keep them sh**s air-cooled, but if it's cold then they stay closer to the core body so they don't f**kin freeze.
#22
How do we know if you like us, romantically?
RogueAlt07: We like to hang around you, actively make the choice to pursue your company, smile and look at you in groups and generally get along very well and usually they’re into you.
[deleted]: You want to know the actual secret? They will mirror you. If you smile at them they will do the same back to you. Men are very sensitive and are really in tune with the one they like, so they will be very reactive to them. Even when they try to hide it. So do let them know because they are thick as bricks and will spite their own feelings.
Silberwolf 7 hours ago (edited)
An introverted man like me would look at you with a slightly smiling face every time I see you, way longer than at any other person in the room, and hope for the best ;)
#23
For my first time, this guy after we had done the deed; 1.Didn’t clean up his mess 2.Started pointing out my flaws “Your chest has a lot of acne, your veins are oddly blue, your knees look weird”. Is this normal? I personally was offended and that made my first time horrible.
ProsperoFinch: Dude was a massive a**hole, and I’m sorry your first time was a negative experience. You deserve better. Hopefully your future experiences will be much more loving and uplifting.
ChunksMcGoo: Sounds like they're either really insecure about themselves and that's them coping with it orrr they're an a**hole.
#24
Does eye contact actually make a difference when we're giving h*ad?
conquer69: Yes... until I remember I look like a thumb from that angle.
PatchTheLurker: There's a chance that this is just for me, but, eye contact during ANYTHING is sexy. Eye contact while I'm inside? (in any way, really) Fast pass to c*m town. Eye contact while you sexy talk and all clothes still on? Fast pass to c*m town. Eye contact when she tells me "you're REALLY good at Mario kart and I hate it"? You guessed it baby, c*m town.
JayWantsACat 17 hours ago
Yes, but not like HOLDING eye contact for a long time. A glance here and there works for me. But even if not, mostly I'd take it as you concentrating on the task at hand. lmao
#25
I have a very ethnic background and while that means people may find me especially unique/attractive it does mean that I’m “hairy” nothing too crazy
but I grow a few hairs around my nipples- overall I have a nice chest but there is a bit of scarring from plucking/hair removal (I have ocd ha) …is that a turn off? I’m working on healing and keeping things moisturized 😭.
packersfan823: If your partner finds a couple small scars or a couple hairs revolting, the problem isn't with you, the problem is with your partner. I'm just happy to see b**bs.
Lost Panda 1 day ago
This would be one of those preference things, but again we're all human. That type of stuff is part of being human. If a few hairs sets someone off, then they can be sent off.
#26
Do you judge a woman by the s*x on the first time or do you assume it will get better with comfort?
ChunksMcGoo: It's always kinda awkward the first time but if I'm interested in you, I will definitely try it as many times as it takes.
neoshadowdgm: The only thing I would judge someone for on the first time is a lack of willingness to put effort into pleasing me. Like the kind of women who expect to receive oral and refuse to give it. Other than that, I expect it to be awkward but amazing anyway. The cool thing about s*x is that you get better at it the more you practice with a new partner. We’ll learn each other’s preferences over time and it will keep getting better. The first time is mostly just “holy s**t, we’re actually having s*x!”
JayWantsACat 17 hours ago
For me, I figure it's mostly always at least somewhat awkward the first time and would get better over time.
#27
When a b*ner happens, does your p*nis slowly come up, or does it shoot up straight away?
[deleted]: Depends... if you notice it sliding up your pants then it'd typically slow, but if your girl is standing in front of you saying she's ready..... kinda just happens and you won't notice
cheetosysst: Usually slow, it's blood we're talking about, not a freaking star wars light saber
Skara Brae 1 day ago
It's definitely situational. A rapid one can take maybe 3-5 seconds. Also, it doesn't have to be just one state or the other. It can be part of the way. A little of the right visual and/or physical stimulation can raise the flag quickly. It can drop just as quickly if the stimulation goes away.
#28
What do 'blue b*lls' feel like?
IJourden: It’s kind of a dull ache with moments of sharper pain or discomfort, and if it starts to radiate it can start to feel like stomach cramps.
I would like to note however that you should never let a guy use “blue b*lls” to pressure you into s*x. If it’s really bothering him, I assure you, he is capable of taking care of it on his own. A guy putting the pressure on like that is probably a sign to eject the whole man.
[deleted]: You know, I’m 40 and I’ve never experienced this. I’ve been in plenty of situations that I feel it would have happened, by the scenarios I’ve heard described. Total mystery to me, these blue b*lls.
Parmer Engineering 20 hours ago
It's like a migraine but in your balls. Best way I can describe it. Very uncomfortable but at the same time, if we have blue balls and we cum, it can be more powerful and sometimes lasts longer than the usual "euphoria".
#29
How do you manage to move it without using your hands? I've seen a couple of guys do it and was absolutely speechless/impressed. They just said, "I don't know how, I just can". I want to know HOW.
vendetta0311: Same muscle that stops the pee stream, women have it too.
RogueAlt07: There’s the muscle I think in the glutes that pulls it, it’s primary purpose is to pull the glutes up but a side movement is the phallus moving. Don’t quote me, I’m not a medical professional so I may be wrong but that’s my best guest for how we do it.
TotallyNOTAFox 23 hours ago
I'd say there is an muscle at the base that twitches during orgasm to push the liquids out but can also be controlled consciously
#30
What does it feel like walking with your dong between your legs ? Or how does that work...
[deleted]: You don't really notice it, but at the same time you know *somethings* there.
GrazYetti: It’s the same as your nose being within your vision. You get so used to your nose being in your peripherals that you don’t see it anymore. Same with your manhood, it’s there and flopping around but, you’re so used to it that you don’t notice it anymore.
kamakazi339: It literally ceases to be a thought unless you
A. Get it stuck to your leg (d**k/b*lls) B. Get a b*ner.
Silberwolf 7 hours ago
You don't really feel it unless you get a boner or the underwear doen't sit right.
Note: this post originally had 54images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
What do you think ?
Bald Panda 1 day ago
Highly explicit sex talk is fine but heaven forbid I read the word d r u g s. Fine with both by the way, just hilarious that BP thinks this is list is OK when they literally censor the word k n o b.
Parmer Engineering 13 hours ago
That's usually how posting on a forum works. Do you usually answer and 'speak for everyone'?
Load More Replies... Bald Panda 1 day ago
Highly explicit sex talk is fine but heaven forbid I read the word d r u g s. Fine with both by the way, just hilarious that BP thinks this is list is OK when they literally censor the word k n o b.
Parmer Engineering 13 hours ago
That's usually how posting on a forum works. Do you usually answer and 'speak for everyone'?
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