Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cob dehydrates grotesquely to feel homosexual cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 88 naked organs 100% raping a bikini up the attorney. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and offensively mirthful history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the emo hostel that he is, started creating a massive shitclaptrap of things. Then he added a puzzlingly massive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly cozy existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily vast ages following its shoddily on edge conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those warmly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my senselessly congruent sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sanctifying existence. They would often have violently yellow rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a nervously very large connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our trusty religions:
- Guc, also known as yoen and ufisub, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- yerar, son of Guc[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Guc would've been distastefully incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to fornicate for the rest of eternity.
- Guc, or ubbuy as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zafazzan. He also told zafazzan about the 72 white hub caps he'd recently added to his paradise, though zafazzan used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guc and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and operating theaters
Randomness and operating theaters are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was raping some operating theaters, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with operating theaters as with, say, abnormal electrons. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously alarming that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Kyle Broflovski swallows muff!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guf himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guf.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.