1. |
Stationary
02:37
|
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I passed the gas station
My thoughts all seem to rhyme
Existential? I’ll take it
My urges are all fucked this time
Lay down on the mattress
Mirrors circle every night
You are ugly free of sorrow,
Impermanence will dine
There’s a resolution in due time
Bare bones and a need to end my life
We can remain neutral in the night
You will find the cause to your own fight
Trying to love you, but these things would never change
I’m not the boy that you thought i am cut out to be
No - I’m not, then to now was such a fucked up time
I’m that girl with hidden roses under the Asbury sky
There’s a fire and it burns heavy x 2
Gross heartless sack of shit
What the hell have you been smoking?
When the marijuana hits,
Your souls so stuck and frozen
What did we do to deserve this?
Did these rats all need support
I crave validation
And you’re my last resort
Toxic roads x 4
|
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2. |
Holes
01:38
|
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There’s terror in the backyard
You ask what is that noise
Feelings cannot be explained
Thinking out loud about kissing boys
Rolling through the block
That I grew up on
I walk silently as the wind hits the trees above so strong
I want to dig these holes
I want to dig these holes
Deeper than hell, sulking alone
I want to dig these holes
Was a pipe bomb in a parking lot
Food in the fridge that was bound to rot
It takes more than one to make a change
Reading gay poetry in the dark
Trying to balance fast starts
Hearing your heart will ease the pain
Wake up in the same bed
Feeling like you have been
Taken advantage of and like you cannot win
It’s a struggle to make coffee
A struggle to walk outside
Some say it’s easy to live
Been always looking for a place to hide
I want to dig these holes
I want to dig these holes
Deeper than hell, sulking alone
I want to dig these holes
|
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3. |
Drown
01:42
|
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We need safety like a hole in our heads
Sleeping with one eye open instead
I said I’m in love with you
I couldn’t make the money
Couldn’t make the income
To live gracefully
Voices in my brain,
Realizing how vain,
I know I can’t do shit
anymore
Can’t be yourself with the feds all around
We’re in the gay part of town
I guess I’m getting old
My back is hurting, I’m young
I was raising the gun
in this dream last night
Voices in my brain,
Realizing how vain,
I know I can’t do shit
Can’t control shit
We will both sleep with the fish
then drown
|
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4. |
SMH City
01:47
|
|||
cordially excited for the draft to fucking happen
its self-sabotage to be amongst all men
think fast, think straight, got to be irrate
sign all the papers and hop off my friend
you're forgiven by god
you will never be cut off
keep your posture
together or you will be torn down
gotta smile to hide your queer frown
time to get ready, you gotta wash your hair
you got lipstick in your pocket, and your skin is completely bare
walk straight down the hall, no more drinks, sober call
in these barracks, there are different kinds of shots
don't give up on this yet
looking down on you, you cannot get upset
the brain is the worst kind of cell
in this free ground that we can call hell
|
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5. |
Sweat
02:36
|
|||
the news makes me sweat
discomfort down under
I’m dying, thoughts piling
been under the covers
i love you so much
i would die for you
current state in the world i wish i could undo
when I walk outside
terror comes to mind
agoraphobic time
therapy come faster
don’t want to live in a world
ran my fascists
but there’s no control
in every facet
such a minuscule force
i should go to bed
i hope you can be safe in your head
i can’t imagine life
without you around
you’re like a best friend
hope you hear the sound of
truth hits,
there is no end to suffering
wish forever that i could kill them all
hurting, passing
Oh i could be protective
my size is large and my heart is small
|
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6. |
Clarity
02:06
|
|||
Hey just quit my job
All of my friends just got so pissed
Can’t control which way the bottle spins
All day jobs are capitalist
Hey just left my town
Kids feel like they can claim a city without a sound
Gentrifying is so careless
Nobody cares that they’re complacent
I grew up with horrible people
Giving horrible advice
All my ancestors are self important
Learning might just bring
Clarity
Hey just went to sleep
In the bed that I was given
Maybe I should assess my privilege
All day long I’m inherently heartless
Hey just started crying
Sick of all of my friends dying
It’s alright to support everyone
Can’t the human race just burn with the sun
Clarity
|
||||
7. |
Summer Money
02:00
|
|||
Would just relax then react
Like a deer you tried to shoot that
Fell in love on a racetrack
I was gone by the cheap wine all night
Could just sit back and smile
Dissociate for awhile
Running from a boulder
I was gone by springtime
Summer money
Heart shaped homes
It’s not funny
How your never gonna be alone
Summer hardships
Holes in the wall
It’s not over
And the dominoes are bound to fall
Would just count down the hours
And the pain just devours
Abusing your power
Bury me in a casket with flowers
We ran from the summer
Assessing the rebirth
Running from a boulder
I was gone by springtime
Summer money
Heart shaped homes
It’s not funny
How your never gonna be alone
Summer hardships
Holes in the wall
It’s not over
And the dominoes are bound to fall
Now you’d say
We could crucify the day
Finally get a decent wage
Fulfill your heart
|
||||
8. |
Racehorse
03:56
|
|||
Running fast
I’m like a racehorse
Setting fire to the police force
Limp wrists as a cause of death
Suffocation you’re out of breath
You burn the flag
Let me exhale
Simple acts put us in jail
Don’t think that it’s possible
To find any method that’s feasible
Lock me up
Kiss me at midnight
Blood on your hands
Til you see the light
What is finished is now overrun
We’re like pigs up in the burning sun
The feast is gone
And now it’s over
How the fuck should we all stay sober
Don’t think that it’s possible
To get by without our stomachs full
I don’t want to tell you how to feel
I don’t want to be there while you burn
|
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9. |
Figwit
02:54
|
|||
will we resent, all of the universe that’s spent
trying to piece together flaws
that we can’t control at all
I step back, ground myself and read about DBT
with every occurrence that comes to me
when i think alone
I am starving
For a world without ridicule
Dreaming of a safer life
I am starving
Looking at myself in ten years
Will I go under or make up for lost time?
try hard, wake up, that’s all you can do
when i get stared off by bigots on the side of the road
or the folks that know what makes me loath
the intimacy of being alive
focusing on my heart strings
trying to give this everything
but cannot grasp my thoughts
I am starving
For a world without ridicule
Dreaming of a safer life
I am starving
Looking at myself in ten years
will I go under or make up for lost time?
|
||||
10. |
||||
Been days since I felt the heat
I know I can’t be on the right track to defeat
With pondering the circumstance
That is set around a broken glance
Each day I dread to hear my name
dreams of a genderless soul as a remedy
For now, I’ll try my best to run
As fast as my body can
Escapism on my own command
Well, I finally set my clock
I guess to wait an extra hour til the day stops
Manic like a rabid beast
Trying to be free
of emotional captivity
Part of the self destructive queer youth
With our brains set on Hollywood
Not old enough to try it
But the high never felt this good
Fighting the enemy of anger
With our ego nailed on a cross
Not perfect to eachother
It’s time to turn that engine on
And find home
Each day I dread to hear my name
With dreams of a genderless soul as a remedy
For now, I’ll try my best to run
As fast as my body can
Escapism on my own command
|
Teenage Halloween Asbury Park, New Jersey
Don Giovanni Records 2023
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Henry
Bainbridge
henry@deathtoslowmusic.com
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Teenage Halloween
teenagehalloweenmusic@gmail.com
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